Often I ask myself: Am I a good Mom? Well, I know that I am because I put my family first. I work at home so that I can raise my two sons. I plan family night out once a week and make it a priority. I’m sure to take time just for myself to prevent burn out.
But I was in search of the moments when a Mom takes a sigh of relief and pats herself on the back for a job well done.
I feel that way when I follow through on a threat or punishment for my three and a half year old son, Rook. Last week Rook decided that his food was going to be his tool for trouble. On Monday, cheese went flying up against the wall during lunch and it promptly landed Rook into “long” time out — six whole minutes!
On Thursday morning he decided to turn his milk into a fountain and spit it out onto the carpeting. Furious doesn’t do justice to my feelings at the time. He sat in time out for six long minutes. Somehow I didn’t feel that Rook was getting the point and time out was not a proper punishment to suit this crime.
While Rook was sitting in time out, my Mom entered to help care for my day care babies while I took the big kids to McDonald’s for some playland romping, when it occurred to me: Rook needs to stay home today. This was the hardest Mommy decision of three and a half years of discipline yet. I announced in my furry “Little boys who spit milk and throw cheese do not get rewarded with a morning of fun at McDonald’s!” and through tears and pleads, Rook stayed home.
I marched three day care kids out the door and was determined to teach my son that his naughtiness would reep no rewards, and that is when it happened… I let out a sigh and patted myself on the back, for I was a good mother. I asked several mother’s what they do that brings them the sigh of relief and a pat on the back and this is what a few of them had to say:
Cindy, Mom of nine-year-old, Ben, listed many areas where she is proud of her parenting skills, but the one that stuck out the most to me was: “I am not a sports fan at all, but I try to pay attention to the news, so instead of just listening to how his favorite teams are doing, I can actually converse with him about the teams. My favorite team, however, is whatever baseball team Ben is playing on that season. I miss as few games as possible.”
Jenn lives in Oregon with her daughter and shared this touching story about parenting her daughter…
Why do I think I am a good Mom? Well, most of all because no matter what, no matter when, no matter how … my daughter is always #1 on my list. I am sure that I get what she needs before my own needs. I remember when I first left her abusive dad when she was 18 months old. I was very poor. My ex wouldn’t let me work…go out with friends or anything. When I left I stayed at a shelter for domestic violence … because I didn’t want her to grow up witnessing this and thinking that it was expectable. It took me a long time to get up the courage to leave because my ex would constantly tear me down and made me believe that I couldn’t make it without him. After a week in the shelter God smiled at me. I was given the opportunity to get on housing immediately. I got a place for my daughter and I…thanks to housing we could afford it. I had food stamps but they weren’t enough to give us the food we needed. So I would buy a TV dinner and let my daughter eat what she wanted. I would eat what was left over. I was starving, but my daughters need came first. I had virtually no clothes when I left because that was another thing my ex would not buy, but I still bought the things needed for my ever growing daughter. Because my daughter always came before me. What’s what I think makes me a good Mom!
I am teaching her a life lesson that is so important. When live gives you lemons…make lemonade.
Rannie shared this story about being a good Mom…
I hope that I am being a ‘good mommy’. I have just agreed to home school my daughter. She is 12 and was having a terrible time at school. Peer pressure to dress a certain way, teasing over being heavy, having a nasal voice because of allergies and unnecessary comments from the teachers. I found out on Tuesday that one teacher had even denied her access to her counselor. I was furious! She had been asking to be home schooled and I was looking into the how and such. On Tuesday, as we were on the way to school I could see her body tensing up as we got closer to the school, then when we got onto the property she had tears running down her face. I asked what was wrong, she burst out crying that she had no real friends at school and she couldn’t take the comments about her missing school due to her allergies any more. I told her stay in the car and I took her home telling her I would call that day and find a home school program for her somehow! About five minutes after we walked in the door the phone rang and it was a facilitator calling back from on of my inquires. I of course told the lady I wanted to enroll Michelle. Later after I told my daughter that she was not going back to the school she was enrolled in and why, she started to cry again, this time with happy tears. She then said she had been braying so hard, and now really knew there was a God and Angels! So, I hope I being a Good Mommy’. I will have to be the one who makes sure she gets an education and I hope to keep this a fun process, she is so much more relaxed and open with both me and her father since we have made this decision.
What ever your reason for being that good Mom, congratulations and here is a pat on the back Pat