I have been thinking a lot about friendship this week. Throughout my life I have had different types of friendships. There was the elementary school friendships which were the most innocent and if I hadn’t moved around I would probably still have those friends. Later there were the high school and college drinking buddies. The type of relationship that stopped when the party did. Eleven years ago I met one person who became my friend, my lover and my husband. My Mom is my friend now that I am almost 39 and can understand her life and see her as a woman, not just as a Mom.
In between these friendships I have had a lot of friends who I would have one or two things in common with but beyond that I couldn’t be myself 100% of the time. There were always boundaries to the friendship, and often if I didn’t make the phone call the time would pass without contact. I think friendship between women is a bonding process and often if we don’t feel comfortable with ourselves it’s hard to find a friend that is a “soul sister”.
Over the last year of my life I have become content with who I am. I feel good about myself. I am not perfect, but I like who I am. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that I now have friendships for the first time that are of the soul. I can be myself with my friends. I know they are my cheerleaders and I am theirs. I can cry. laugh, get angry or be funny and I know they understand. The strange thing is; we are from different states and countries. We have different political views and parenting styles. Even our ages are not the same. None of this matters. In our hearts we have bonded across the miles, and I know I will be there for them forever.
This sounds corny I know. I sit back and examine this time in my life and I wonder how I ever survived without my friends. They tell me about their past experiences and I hurt for them. I wish I had been there when they needed me. But, our friendship had to wait until we were all at this exact place and time. If you haven’t reached out to the women you have met; please do. You may not find them right away, but your soul sisters are out there. We all need friends who will be honest with us when we need it, and yet, will also know when we need to hear “It will be fine, just let it go”. They will add a dimension to your life that you didn’t know was possible