Old-Fashioned Crime
by Lisa M. Henderson

I am a statistic. I am a victim of crime. I have joined the ranks of those who have been violated.

Saturday morning, I was sleeping in, blissfully dreaming of wonderful things. Into my bedroom bursts my daughter, saying, "Mom the next door neighbors are here and they want to talk to you." I said, "I'm sleeping! Can you please tell them to come back later?" She left and then came right back, saying, "Mom, they said they have to talk to you right now." So I drag myself out of bed, in my nightshirt, my hair a mess, and go to the door.

Jerry and Robin are at the door waiting for me. Robin said, "Did you know you only have two tires on your car?" I looked at her and said, "What?" Jerry said, "Two of your tires are gone!" Shocked, I walked out to my car, to see it sitting in my own driveway, sadly leaning to the ground on the driver's side, propped up on two little cement blocks. Both driver's side tires were gone, including the wheels and lugnuts. I stood there for a minute, just looking. I couldn't believe it. My mind was blank and I could not say a word. I turned and walked into my house to call the police and the insurance company.

I'm a victim of an old-fashioned crime. There was no drive-by shooting. There was no crazed lunatic blowing away my children. There were no bomb plans or evil diaries. There were only two things missing, the wheels to my car. Do I feel any less violated? No. I'm deeply concerned for my safety, my children's safety, and am very protective of my things. My car doors were locked, everything was inside. My home was not touched nor had anyone tried to get in, thank God. There was nothing else gone from the outside. Just my two wheels and some damage that was done to the car doors and brakes.

I live in a great neighborhood, with wonderful neighbors. There is very little crime around here and no one else was affected by whomever chose to do this to me. I am fairly certain it was a planned crime. I am also fairly certain it was directed toward me, to inconvenience and cost me, rather than someone who really wanted two tires off my car. I am also very certain I know who was behind it. But I can't prove it.

My children think they know who did it too. They are also afraid someone will try to break in the house now. This bothers me the most. As much as we parents try to protect our children from the horrors of the outside world, things will happen to us that proves there are people who are harsh and selfish. When bad things happen, it opens up an old world of fears for my children that I have worked hard to get them through.

As a single parent, I am challenged on a daily basis in many areas of life. As a survivor of an abusive relationship, I am challenged to teach my children that there are good people in this world, those who can be trusted, and those we can count on. In the wake of this crime that has happened to us, my children became aware of those who immediately appear to help us in our time of need.

My children met the police officer from the crime unit, who appeared to take fingerprints and write down the little we knew about the theft. She spent a few minutes showing my children how they dust for prints and explained how they will run the prints through the computer, looking for matches. My children met the shop supervisor from the auto dealer, who drove out to my house on his own time, to bring an extra spare tire. He put both spare tires on my car for me and called for a tow truck. My children saw how a friend showed up at my house within an hour to make sure we got our errands run that morning, as we'll be without a car for about a week. My children saw at least ten of our neighbors come over to show their concern and offer us their time or vehicles if we needed them. Yes, there are good people in this world. And there are bad people.

Everything that happens is a golden opportunity for children to learn and to grow. It is also an opportunity for us parents to stop and think about our own reactions and about how much those actions affect our children. My ability to contain my concern and anger was able to help my children to deal with this crime in a calm and rational manner. It would not have helped any of us to scream or yell or cry. Rather, my children and I sat down and talked it over and worked through it. They were a bit afraid at bedtime, but woke the following morning feeling a little more safe in their own home.

The moral of my story is, things will happen to you in your life that challenge every ounce of who you are as a parent and a person. Remember that many of these things are happening to your children at the same time. But your children have only been on this earth for a few years. Their feelings are just as confused as yours, but they don't have the same maturity of an adult to deal with those feelings. What you do and how you act will teach them how to cope when bad things happen to them as they grow older. Teach your children well, teach them to see the good when the bad happens, teach them restraint, teach them self-control, teach them that it is good to reach out for help and to accept it. Oh, and teach them not to steal.