It's More Than Cosmetic
by Bob Schwartz

We have a new resident joining our home. Now we've had visitors of this species before and even have an older version presently residing there. We're all very excited but also have the proper dosage of apprehension given our lack of experience. A baby girl has has joined her older brothers, adding a little more balance to our heretofore-male dominated team. 

Expectant parents usually say it doesn't matter whether their baby is a boy or girl. Now I know this is the politically correct era but, with respect to activity level, take it from the parent of two boys whose throttle has been pretty much stuck in high gear since birth. It matters.

I certainly recognize that there are always exceptions. There are definitely some girls who enjoy doing somersaults off the backyard hammock onto the trampoline and then jumping off into the little wading pool. I also know there are some little boys who would prefer to sit and play with stuffed animals rather than see if they can throw them all the way up to the ceiling and catch them by their head on the way down.

I became attuned to the general differences in behavior of boys and girls when my friends and I started having kids and spending time with each other's children. I noted that often time the parents of boys would look at the girls with awe and wonder. The parents of the little girls usually looked at the boys with concern and alarm. 

My observations reveal that for a girl the most direct route from the family room to the kitchen is a straight line. Sensible. For a boy, it is climbing up, over and down the couch, once around the room in a skipping motion for good measure, five hops and a slide into the kitchen. Illogical, but apparently worth the effort.

For a girl, their first umbrella will be something to proudly carry and properly utilize at the first drop of rain. For a boy, an umbrella is something to open, set it upside down and ask you to spin it for them as they sit inside.

For a girl, a cupcake is something to be eaten slowly and savored. For a boy, the goal is to wind up with more cupcake in their mouth than on their face and clothes as they virtually inhale the treat in less than three seconds.

One illustrative example for me occurred a few years ago when my family flew to visit my wife's brother with our three and five year old boys. Upon arrival, their two and half year old girl cousin wanted to play the game she enjoyed of pretending to paint her backyard fence with a brush and a bucket of water.

After my boys watched her delicately place the brush in the bucket and methodically "paint" her fence, they asked their uncle if they could join in.

They initially imitated their cousin's gentle brushing technique. This lasted about seven seconds. Genetics took over. They determined that as easily as they could softly brush the fence, they could also fling the water off their brushes onto the fence. Their cousin looked at them rather quizzically and took a few steps backwards.

Now if flinging water onto the fence was fun perhaps flinging it at each other could produce greater enjoyment. As if the light bulb went off in their heads at the same instant, they each ran to the bucket, doused their brushes and flung away at each other. Their cousin now had a perplexed gaze and retreated a few more steps.

The conclusion was next reached that throwing the bucket of water at each other might be even more exciting and spraying the hose at each other would be sheer ecstasy. By now their cousin had sought shelter from the water follies in her father's arms, wondering what was next up her cousins' sleeves.

Now I recognize that my daughter will undoubtedly match her older brothers' enthusiasm for life (certainly if the decibel level of her screams at birth are any indication of her energy). Heck, she may even beat their record for how many grapes can be stuffed in one's mouth or how loud a noise can be made with one's cupped hand and armpit. I can't wait.