CHALLENGING IDEAS FOR ACTION-ORIENTED DADS
from Dr. Ken Canfield & the NATIONAL CENTER for FATHERING
Copyright 1999 National Center for Fathering
Reprinted with Permission

The War Between Work and Family

In the News ...
Rolf Jensen, Director of the Copenhagen Institute for Future Studies, believes the conflict between work and family is escalating. In a recent poll of American MBA students, building a career is their number one priority (75%), but the family ran a very close second (71%). In essence, future business leaders want a successful career and a close family, and it is likely that they are willing to give up neither.

Arlie Russell Hochschild, author of The Time Bind, concludes that, "In a cultural contest between work and home ... the workplace is winning." He contrasts the "routine" service of home life (including cooking dinner, laundry, and taking care of the kids) with the "higher" service of the workplace, where many people feel more important and have more fun.

To Think About ...
We received some great feedback to a recent FatherFax where I asked for input regarding high-profile CEOs who are exemplary family men. I've heard about many leaders, CEOs, COOs, and corporate officers who are intensely committed to their children and families. That doesn't mean those dads have solved the work/family struggle. Like all of us, they face ongoing challenges in this area, but I believe we should view this tension positively. It's good when we make daily decisions that affirm our values and priorities. We need to be good workers and good family men.

I frequently hear success stories related to the work/family tension. I also hear about dads facing great difficulties due to poor daily decisions regarding priorities. Let me share an example of each: For one business leader, it wasn't until an 18-month layoff after being bought out that he realized he'd succumbed to the pressing demands of work at the expense of his wife and three children. He assumed a lesser position in another company so he could be home more. Another leader wanted to work hard in his early years so he could earn a good salary, retire early, and spend more time with his family later on. Unfortunately, his plan didn't work. One day his wife said to him, "I don't love you anymore, because I don't feel like I know you anymore." She's filing for a divorce.

In the Trenches ...
We continue to make a major investment in our Internet site at www.fathers.com. We believe that flooding the Net with ideas, resources, and tips is a cost-efficient way to promote responsible fatherhood throughout the world. We've received some very positive recognition, most recently by USA Today. Come visit us, as we are adding material daily.

ACTION POINTS for Fathers in the Work/Family Balance
1. At your next family dinner, ask each child to name an upcoming school or after-school event that he or she is excited about, then make every effort to attend.
2. In the next two weeks, show up unannounced at one of your children's school or after-school events to see how he or she is doing.
3. Business dads, check out a terrific new book written just for you--Business Dads: How Good Businessmen Can Make Great Fathers by Tom Hirschfeld. Visit our bookstore and click on "Specials" to save $5.00 this week.
4. Send us an e-mail with a fathering success or challenge you've experienced recently. We may use your story in an upcoming FatherFax. 10200 W. 75th Street, Suite 267, Shawnee Mission, KS 66204 - Phone 913-384-4661 - Fax 913-384-4665