CHALLENGING IDEAS FOR ACTION-ORIENTED DADS
from Dr. Ken Canfield & the NATIONAL CENTER for FATHERING
Copyright 1999 National Center for Fathering
Reprinted with Permission

You Can Help...
A personal note from Ken Canfield

Here are two pictures which illustrate the range of emotions we see in our work with fathers and families:

1] The Anguish of Fatherlessness

The crowded playground of an urban elementary school is buzzing with more than 650 dads and school children. George Williams, Mike Randle and Karen Tryphonas of our urban fathering team and a host of volunteers are serving a bacon and egg breakfast. The kids are energized! They have all invited their fathers--or father-figures--to join them for the breakfast and are busy showing the men off.

Keith, a wheelchair-bound man in his 30's, proudly introduces me to Chancellor, a fourth grader. While there is no blood relationship between the two, they are clearly excited to be there together. Like any fourth grader, Chancellor is a bundle of energy, darting from one friend to another and then back to Keith.

I help Keith get situated for his breakfast and we talk. All the while, Keith keeps an eye on Chancellor. He is honored to be Chancellor's "dad," and the ever-present smile on his face shows it.

Suddenly, the smile is gone. Keith's eyes become fixed, stunned by what he sees. I catch Chancellor's first response out of the corner of my eye. He, too, is immobilized by the sight of something I can't see. Then, quickly, Chancellor turns and disappears into a crowd of kids.

I look back at Keith. His eyes drop, filled with disbelief. Almost inaudibly, he explains, "His dad is here. Chancellor's dad is in the breakfast line with two other kids!"

2] The Joy of Fatherfulness

Lowell stood proudly as our urban director, George Williams, called his name at the recent graduation ceremony of our drug court program. His eyes smiled as he held his 18-month-old son and listened to George tell his story. Lowell had grown up in a fatherless home, abandoned by his dad at an early age. Like Chancellor, his dad never left the neighborhood, so he too had to put up with constant reminders of his rejection by his father. His wounds were deep. He dropped out of school, became involved in drugs and criminal activity, and fathered a child out of wedlock. Lowell's arrest resulted in his participation in our program.

Now, as he accepted his graduation certificate, Willie had a few words to say, "I never had a dad, so I didn't know how to be a good dad. But now, thanks to George and this course, I know what to do, and I know that I'm always going to be there for my son."

What a contrast between these two pictures. From the anguish of fatherlessness to the joy of fatherfulness, these pictures demonstrate the full range of emotions we experience at the National Center for Fathering. It's difficult when we have to see the anguish in the eyes of a child like Chancellor. But it's tremendously rewarding to see a dad like Lowell break the chain of fatherlessness and begin a legacy of fatherfulness. It gives us hope that we can help Keith and Chancellor and thousands of others make the same transition.

This year, we will work face-to-face with close to 10,000 dads in seminars and programs that we lead across the country. We'll reach hundreds of thousands more through our daily radio program, our magazine, and our website at www.fathers.com. Many of them will make life-changing decisions which benefit their families and themselves.

A Personal Note of Thanks

At this time of year, we pause to give thanks. I'm grateful to have the opportunity to be here, on the front lines of one of the most remarkable developments of the 20th century--the awakening of fathers' hearts.

I'm particularly thankful for friends like you, who make it possible for the National Center to prompt dads to action--action that will affect generations to come. We appreciate your investment in fathers and families.

As we close the year and our first decade as an organization, I hope you will consider helping us extend our reach to additional fathers and families. Chancellor represents more than 23,000,000 American children who are fatherless. We can turn the tide of fatherlessness and replace it with the joys and benefits of fatherfulness. Please join us by responding with a generous, tax-deductible gift. You can do so at the following website address: http://www.fathers.com/supporter

For stronger fathers and families,

Ken R. Canfield, Ph.D. Founder and President

P.S. Help us demonstrate to our Board of Directors that our website is a powerful medium for connecting with dads. They have agreed to match every gift we receive through our website on a dollar-for-dollar basis. Let's send them a strong message! Thank you!!