CHALLENGING IDEAS FOR ACTION-ORIENTED DADS
from Dr. Ken Canfield & the NATIONAL CENTER for FATHERING
Copyright 1999 National Center for Fathering
Reprinted with Permission

Life is Precious

In the News ... America continues to mourn the tragic loss of a well-known son, John F. Kennedy Jr. With the non-stop coverage, the media has prompted us to reflect on the misfortunes of the Kennedy family over the years, captured poignantly in John Jr.'s heart-touching salute during his father's funeral.

Biographers of the Kennedy clan note that when President Kennedy was in office, he didn't get to spend as much time with his son as he desired. Once the President voiced to an aide, "John sees so little of his father. How can he ever know me?"

When John Jr. attended a function at the White House in 1998, some thirty-five years after living there, the Clintons took him and his wife Carolyn on a personal tour of the family quarters. As they visited the places where he slept and played as a little boy, he remarked that he did not remember much about living there.

To Think About ... Life is precious. The unexpected loss of life often causes us to reflect in profound ways. As you consider the investment you're making in your family, be cognizant of this fact: The time you devote, both quantity and quality, is like oxygen to your family members; they can never get enough. Very few fathers--including presidential fathers--spend the amount of time they desire with their children.

A few years ago I was speaking on a college campus where over 200 students gathered to hear a lecture on the ways fathers impact a child's identity. At the end of my lecture, I asked the students to assist me with some anecdotal research about how young collegians feel about their fathers. I instructed them to write a sentence about their father and what they wanted from him. As I went through their scribbled responses, I was especially caught by this one: "My dad is an entrepreneur and a millionaire who makes $300 per hour for consulting. If I had $300 I would buy an hour of his time."

In the Trenches ... The Web is expanding. At fathers.com last month we had over 180,000 page viewings. Intel CEO Craig Barrett says that Internet users will increase six-fold to one billion within five years. Whether you're new to the Net or a "Net vet," keep checking back at fathers.com. We're posting new data and resources daily to encourage you cyber-techno-dads who want to stay current on your fathering.

ACTION POINTS for Committed Fathers
1. Get out your family archives--pictures, films or mementos of your family history--and review them with your kids.
2. Ask your wife to resurrect at least one new story of her childhood and have her share it with your children this weekend.
3. Look ahead on your fall calendar and start scheduling individual time for each child.
4. Calculate how much your grandfather, your father and you made per hour in the early working years. Ask your children to guess the amounts. Be ready to surrender an hour of that time if someone in your household wants to "purchase" it.
5. Busy business dads will enjoy the new book by Tom Hirschfeld called Business Dad. Check it out in our bookstore at fathers.com under "specials" and save $5 through July 31, 19