CHALLENGING IDEAS FOR ACTION-ORIENTED DADS
from Dr. Ken Canfield & the NATIONAL CENTER for FATHERING
Copyright 1999 National Center for Fathering
Reprinted with Permission

Putting Your Family First

In the News ...
Balancing work and family was the focus of a story syndicated by Knight Ridder this week. The reporter included this quote from me: "I have searched for the CEO of a publicly traded company who would say he is strongly committed to both family and his company, and I have found none." That sounds like I was issuing a challenge, and maybe I was. I'd like to find a high-profile CEO who puts his family first--publicly. What people advise me, though, is that it could be very risky for a successful businessman if his clients, investors, or shareholders found out that his children come before his business pursuits.

To Think About ...
One father in a growing law firm wrote to me and told me of his early days, just out of law school, when he was working as an assistant to the CEO of a Fortune 100 company. One Saturday, this young upstart had come to the office, striving to get ahead and impress his boss. The CEO came in and, instead of patting him on the back for working long hours, reprimanded him and said, "If you can't get your work done during the week, something's wrong. You need to be home with your family." Those words made this young upstart think differently about work and family, and the resulting changes in his life have now been in place for over 25 years.

Last week I called that attorney and asked for permission to identify the CEO who taught him this valuable lesson--he deserves to be publicly recognized. My friend contacted his old boss, who is still a reigning CEO, and asked for his permission. The corporate leader declined and asked that neither he nor his company be mentioned by name. So far, it seems, my advisors are correct. While CEOs may be great internal examples, they don't want public recognition for their family-first priorities.

In the Trenches ...
Another outback expedition is in process this week as we at the Center lead a father-child adventure in the California Sierras. On this trip, fathers and their children will be literally hanging off mountains while seeking to pull closer together in their relationships. The pristine setting provides perfect focus for sharing what's on their hearts, discussing goals, and deepening their relationships. If possible, a fitting way to end your summer season would be to take an evening in the outdoors with each of your children and discuss the coming school year.

ACTION POINTS for Committed Fathers
1. Proclaim to your fellow workers your commitment to fathering and how you're seeking to apply that commitment in your daily life. Walk the talk.
2. Send a note or message to another man who has impressed you as a father. Thank him for the example he has set.
3. Next time you feel overbooked, let your family scrutinize your work schedule.
4. Help us change the culture. If you know of a high-profile corporate leader and father who puts his family first, send us his story. Also, let us know if he is willing to be identified.
5. For additional articles and resources on managing work/family tension, visit www.fathers.com, click on Practical Tips, then select Work & Family under "hot topics."