The Myth Of Santa

My parents once told me, "Son you will understand once you have kids of your own!" (circa 1978). This was in response to me questioning my parents generosity towards my sister who, in my opinion, did not deserve a present at all. It would be best served to spend the extra cash on that groovy polyester shirt with the collar big enough to set sail on the Queen Mary. (So I grew up in the seventies, you got a problem with that?)

Once again my parents were correct. Santa does not really care whether we have been naughty or nice. Its more a case of economics. We all want to give our kids the best we can. Twenty years ago I would have contracted a hitman to take out anyone who gave me underwear for Christmas. These days the it doesn't seem too bad knowing that in exchange for a pair of new boxers I get to provide our son with a talking Buzz Light Year. I get the feeling that as you grow older you actually wear out underwear faster anyway, digestive gases maybe?

Our son is now two and a half, last Christmas he was content to simply marvel at events as they unfold. He had no needs or wants as my wife and I casually strolled through Toy's 'R Us. Nor did he show any interest at the multitude of items that flash, beep, talk, burp, slurp, slop, pop, fly, or cry. He was, in his own way, checking out the scene for next year.

This year it's a different story. Our son has discovered the nature of WANT. But as parents of a two year old we still have a secret weapon, SANTA.

I pity those whose kids have blown the myth of Santa. For the parents of kids who have figured out that Santa is really mom and dad loaded with late night trips to Toys 'R' Us and a screwdriver the festive season is like going to battle with the enemy knowing your gun isn't loaded.

I am convinced Santa was concocted by a genius of a parent whose child knew no bounds when it came to "I WANT". I would like to buy the parent responsible for the creation of Santa a beer and gather other thoughts of wisdom from them, for he/she is truly the chosen one.

Santa, for the next month or so, is the guardian of all things naughty in our household. Santa is the ultimate secret agent who knows when you're behaving, or not -- as the case may be. Santa has a "share-o-meter" that can tell how generous you have been with other kids. Santa's sleigh employs stealth technology that would make the F117 bomber look like an elephant in an ant farm. That folks is what Santa is capable of. Santa is the ultimate in inducing well behaved, sit quietly, eat your greens, play nicely, kind of kids.

All said and done, lets face it, as parents it is human nature to give all we can to our kids. So go out there face the hostile queue's at the checkout counter. Stock up on batteries. Use the myth of Santa anyway you like. Get what you can out of the festive season.

I, for one, know that one day my son will get a remote control car for which he may gain bonus "sharing points" by letting Dad have a turn (or two, or three, or four or .. until my wife confiscates it from me and gives it back to him) to go onto next years naughty or nice tally counter. You've got to love the myth of Santa!

BIO : Joseph de Guzman is a programmer with Verifone Australia, now Hewlett Packard. Dad to Sam and husband to Kylie Ardill, editor of online parenting magazine Spilt Milk.net

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