I Remember My Wife
by Steve Newton

I am married. 10 years this September. I can remember when my wife and I did things together. I mean we still do things together but lately it's always with 1 or 2 or 3 little critters in tow. It has been a while since we did something just as a couple. A night out, a candlelit dinner for two, a little 'tripping the light fantastic' followed by some champagne on ice and a night of unbridled passion.

Before the kids came along we used to sit out on the driveway late at night, watching the stars and drinking champagne. (It was cheap and nasty but we were young and tasteless). We used to go bushwalking through the mountains, stripping off and enjoying any cool waterholes we came across.

I can remember hiring videos and enjoying private movie marathons until the sun came up. Dragging out a mattress and sleeping in the lounge, surviving entirely on chips and coke. Now I wouldn't dare lie down for fear of an all out assault by 3 midget hooligans whose favourite pastime is jumping on Mummy and Daddy. And chips and coke for dinner is out of the question. Although I daresay it wouldn't be a battle to make them finish their meals.

I am not complaining too much about the lack of time spent as a couple. It has been replaced by time as a family, which is a fantastic way to spend time. Mealtimes are alot more entertaining at any rate.

But even though she is never far away, sometimes I do miss my wife. I miss my girlfriend. I miss the young woman who made me laugh, made me spend money I didn't have, made me feel like no matter what, I had a friend I could trust.

I know that young woman, my girlfriend, my wife, is still here. I see her every now and then, peeking out from under the piles of dirty dishes, laundry, screaming kids and bills. I know I shouldn't, but with the daily grind, stress from work, the lack of time as a couple I think I sometimes forget who that woman is. I forget exactly who it is that's preparing meals, washing clothes, mending knees, (all at the same time mind you).

I have spoken to a few of my mates and it happens to them too. It's not nice to admit but it's true. I think it is very important to take the time to look past the mother bit, look past the family things, as nice as they are, and see the woman. It may be difficult while she is on the telephone organising volunteers to work at the weekends soccer carnival, one hand in the sink washing dishes, one child screaming at her feet ( especially if she's still in her trakkies). But maybe you need to take the phone off her, call a babysitter, reserve a table for two and a room with a view. Take the night off from the family. Take the night off from 'Mummy and Daddy'.

A relaxed evening enjoying each others company over a candlelit dinner then back to a beautiful (yet well within the budget) motel room and I am sure you will start to see someone other than a wife and mother. A nice hot steamy shower for two, a warm massage and I doubt you will be thinking of the kids.

Turn the lights down low, put a Chris Isaaks CD in the player and chances are, if your wife is anything like mine, completely run off her feet, she'll probably fall asleep about now.

But as long as she didn't hog the blanket, I wouldn't mind a bit.

Steve

About the Author

Steve Newton has 3 sons and still most of his hair! He is a teacher and his kids are 9, 4 and 2. He enjoys sports, computers, reading and movies. He is 28, married to another teacher and lives in Queensland, Australia.