Supporting Your Wife
By Carl Diers

My wife looked forward to being an stay-at-home mom. She imagined all the things that she would be able to get done! Once Matthew was born, she realized the truth! It is a lot of work being a mother!

It was a big adjustment for her. The nighttime feedings meant less sleep. It was hard for her to get used to breastfeeding at first. It was hard to get him to go to sleep. It was hard to get the household cleaning done. She felt harried and worn out. But she knew that everything she was doing for Matthew was very much worth it. I tried my best to be there for her. She needed my support.

I knew that breastfeeding was the best thing for Matthew, so I did everything to make it easier for Michelle. I would do the dishes while she was nursing our son so that she wouldn't have to worry about that later.

Another time, we were in the shopping mall, and Matthew starting crying because he was hungry. It was a long walk back to the car, so we decided we find a nice quiet corner of the mall where there wasn't much people. We used a receiving blanket to cover any exposed part of her. She asked me when she finished if I felt embarrased, but I told her that I was proud of her. That was just the thing she needed to hear!

We found out recently that Matthew has milk protein allergies. So Shelly had to stop eating dairy products if she still wanted to keep on breastfeeding him. To show my support, I also decided that I would go on the same diet. It wouldn't be fair if I had a cheese sandwich or a big scoop of icecream and she couldn't have any.

Before Matthew was born, the thing that I dreaded the most and didn't look forward to at all was changing diapers. Now, I make it a time of bonding. I like tickling Matthew and making him laugh! So I don't mind it as much anymore. That same day at the mall, I took Matthew to the bathroom, where they had a changing table. A lady sitting behind us in the food coral commented to Michelle that her husband would never do anything like that!

There are also times when only Daddy can calm the baby. Mommy has had a rough day with the baby who has been crying most of the day. Sometimes, I just take Matthew, hold him against my chest, with this head just under my chin. I sing to him, "Tis So Sweet to Trust in Jesus." Sometimes babies love to hear that deep voice of Daddy. Babies not only hear from their ears, but also with their whole head, and with the head right under Daddy's chin, the deep voice resonates... and the baby feels the calm breath... Soon, Matthew stops crying.

Another way to help your wife is to let her have a night out with the ladies, and watch the baby. The only thing is that some mothers are hesitant to leave the baby alone with Daddy. It's not that she doesn't trust him. It's just the same sort of thing as the mother finding it hard when her child goes off to school. It is helpful if mom nurses the baby before leaving. This can be a great way for Daddy to bond with the baby.

These are just a few ways that Daddy can help support Mommy. The important thing is to make an effort to help her be the best mommy she can be.

About the Author

Carl is a computer programmer in upstate New York.
He is the daddy of a precious 4-month old son.
His wife is a stay-at-home mom.
Visit Carl's Website
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