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As I sat here brainstorming trying to figure out what to write about this week, I glanced up at the calendar, and the date, February 13th struck me. I knew it was one of those dates that should be obvious to me why it is significant, but for the life of me, I couldn't remember. Then, like a brick wall, it hit me. It has been three months since I quit smoking. Yep. This mommy used to smoke. I don't mean I puffed once in awhile or at parties, I mean that other than when I was sleeping, I had a coffin nail hanging off my lip. I had myself convinced that I could not get through a day, oh heck, who am I kidding, I had myself convinced that I couldn't get through five minutes without one. In the bathroom doing my hair, with my morning coffee, in the truck, even relaxing in the bathtub. No matter what I was doing, I was smoking. If I was stressed, happy or mad, out came the cancer sticks. I tried everything to quit. I loved smoking, but hated the habit, hated the money I was wasting, hated my hacky phlegmy morning cough routine, hated the way my house looked all nicotine stained, and worst of all, I hated the way that my mother in law looked at me. It seemed, though she never had the cruelty to say it out loud, that I was a bad mommy. I felt like a bad mommy, yet still, the nicotine beast had me in his death grip! My wonderful mother had quit smoking several years before, and I begged her to tell me her secret. "Ma, please, I am desperate. I have tried the patch, the gum, chewing straws, snapping rubber bands, EVERYTHING!" Ya gotta help me, Ma.". She softly snickered, and in a soft, mama voice full of gentleness and wisdom, she said. "Honey, you don't want to quit. You are not ready." Well, let me tell you, I was so mad. Here, this woman had smoked for 35 years, and one day up and quit cold turkey and she had all the answers and she wasn't sharing. HOW DARE SHE?? What mama that really loved her baby wouldn't share this kind of secret. She said, "I just did. Jennifer, you have to WANT to. You still enjoy it too much." I mulled this over, and though I didn't want to believe it, she was right. I liked my little crutch. My vice. My smokes! How could I give up something that I enjoyed so much? The answer was, I couldn't. My mom told me that one day I would be ready, hopefully soon, but that one day I would be ready, and there was no use trying all the other quit methods until I honestly had that key. As much as I hate to admit it, she was right. She generally is. But then, one day around the beginning of November of last year, I woke up, lit my cigarette and it tasted like crap. I mean, I always loved my first ciggy of the day, and this was GROSS! I told myself I had a bad one, and lit another. It tasted like crap too. It had begun. It took me a few days to figure it out, but I just didn't like smoking anymore. It tasted gross. Was I ready? Was this the defining moment my mother talked to me about? Only one way to find out. I threw away the smokes, lighters, ashtrays and bought gum, orange juice and a bunch of cleaning supplies. The first couple days were easy. Every one was so busy patting me on the back and telling me how wonderful I was, I didn't freak out too bad. When I got all twitchy and had a craving, I remembered some advice I heard once on a quit smoking newsgroup, "Cravings don't last forever". this is SO true. Craving last a few minutes. Not days, not hours. Just hang on, ride out the storm, and it will pass. The days turned to weeks and it got easier and easier. So, today when I looked at the calendar, I realized that it was exactly three months ago. No one pats me on the back anymore. And no one makes a big deal out of it anymore, but let me tell you, I do. Every morning, I look at my husband and my wonderful babies and I know that I am adding years back onto my life with them by quitting, and that is the best pat on the back I could ask for. Edited to add: WOW! I wrote this article back in 2002. As of this update, it is October 18, 2008. I have been gloriously smoke free for 2,573 days. I have saved over $20,000! Woo hoo for me!!!!
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Quitting SmokingSaturday, 18 October 2008 As I sat here brainstorming trying to figure out what to write about this week, I glanced up at the calendar, and the date,...
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