Breastfeeding - Breastfeeding and Sexual Problems

I still find it hard to believe that some people think breastfeeding may cause sexual problems in children, especially boys. We were warned about this when our son was nursing at about eight months old. I imagine other people might hear this too.

• Children develop sexual problems when they are abused, either physically or verbally, not when they are nursed!
  • Breastfeeding is known to reduce the chances that a child will be abused.
  • Therefore, indirectly, breastfeeding reduces the chances that a child will develop sexual problems.
• Children may also develop sexual problems because of negative attitudes from their parents towards sexuality. For example, a parent who washes all of their daughter's body with a nice washcloth except for her vagina, then throws the washcloth at her and tells her to wash herself "down there" is teaching their daughter to be disgusted with her body. A parent who yells at, or even worse, hits a child because the child was touching her or his genitals is similarly starting the child on her or his way to sexual difficulties.
• Breastfeeding, on the contrary, creates happy, satisfied, and comfortable children.
• Unfortunately, this sort of utterly baseless belief is very common. Here are some more examples--don't believe any of them:
  • A breastfed boy will become a sex maniac (see above!).
  • A breastfed boy will become a homosexual (people may be homo- or heterosexual; there is no evidence that breastfeeding promotes one or the other).
  • If you sleep with your baby, she or he will become a sex maniac, a homosexual, an overly dependent person... (on the contrary, children who are allowed to share their parents' bed until they are ready to move into their own are happy, secure, and self-reliant).
• If your children see you in the nude, they'll be traumatized, and they may suffer long-term psychological damage (this totally baseless fear is so seductive that even the popular pediatrician T. Berry Brazelton has fallen into the trap--not his only vice, by any means).
  • No such thing. The only thing that might cause your children psychological damage is your reaction to their seeing you naked. If you are comfortable with it, so will they be.
  • Similarly, many people fear that their children might see them having sex and suffer psychological damage as a result. Here, too, the only risk of damage is from your reaction. A baby or toddler has no idea what sex is, and will certainly not get damaged from observing it. Of course you'll try to keep your child from seeing you having sex, but if it happens, don't worry. Just make sure you don't react too strongly.

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