Great to be a Grandmother?
By Jill Curtis Once upon a time becoming a grandparent was an obvious rite of passage. A grandma would lower her already modest hem line even further, and begin to wear a lace cap and shawl. She was looked on to provide 'Granny's wisdom' on the best way to bring up baby, and her tips and advice were words to be treasured and handed down. Babies could be soothed with her secret remedies. My own grandma had the strangest ideas, and yet it seemed as if the whole family accepted every word she said. It is difficult to believe now that when my aunts complained of a sore throat they were sent out with an old sock wrapped round their neck. To ward off bad chest colds, brown paper was stuffed down the front of shirts, and we were all warned to avoid vinegar at all costs because even a drop would cause our blood to dry up. These remedies, and other strange practices were solemnly carried out. My grandmother was always ready to play games with me, garden and teach me songs from her childhood. In those pre-television days we also listened to the radio together and I once asked her why there were no women news readers. 'Because nobody would believe a word they said', she replied speedily and firmly. And that, at the time, was the end of that conversation! Becoming a grandmother was a very proud day in my life. That lasted all of fifteen minutes. My daughter asked me to change her new son's nappy and I was faced not by the nappy as I knew it, but with something which stuck to itself (not the baby) and made me look quite foolish. But happier days were to come, and I began to bask in the delight of being a grandparent, but without the responsibility of the day-to-day care of a parent. What a delight to be able to play with the children in the knowledge that they will return to their parents at nightfall. Now that I have friends who are grandmothers too, we gossip away about the delights. We all feel we have learned how quickly time passes, and that a lazy afternoon on the beach with the grandchildren is a good way of spending precious time. We know, but do not say, that we are comforted by seeing our children's children, and it reassures us that life goes on. Is our wisdom quite so valuable now? After all, there are always the ChildFun message boards to turn to for advice. But at the end of the day the 'millennium grandmother' is not so different from her own grandmother or even great-grandmother. There is a special magic which passes between the generations, and whether wearing a lace cap or the latest fashion, we all hold in our hearts a very special place for our wonderful grandchildren. No doubt about it - it's great to be a grandmother.
Jill Curtis is a psychotherapist and author of
articles and books on family issues:
Where's Daddy? Separation and Your Child' and
Making and Breaking Families - the Way Ahead for Parents and their Children'.
She is married with three children and seven grandchildren.
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Great to be a Grandmother? Monday, 12 January 2009 Great to be a Grandmother? By Jill Curtis Once upon a time becoming a grandparent was an obvious rite of passage. A grandma would lower...
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