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HELP FOR TODAY - HOPE FOR TOMORROW
WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU ARE ANGRY By Susie Duffy, M.A.
Anger can arise within us without any warning. As parents, you sometimes get taken off guard when your teenager evokes anger inside of you and you may react with angry words, actions or physicality. A situation can get blown out of proportion before you even realize what you want to express or how you want to express it. You blow up, your teen blows up and IT happens again. What can you do to help your self when you are angry? Consider these tips when you feel yourself getting angry at your teen.
Recognize your angry feelings. What happens to your body? Do your muscles get tense? Do you feel your blood pressure rise? Do you feel your face getting red? Are you thinking negative thoughts? Recognize what is happening to your body internally so that you can identify that it is happening.
Calm down. Use whatever method helps you calm down. Some examples are: take three deep breaths, count backwards slowly, remove yourself from the situation, listen to music or talk positive thoughts to yourself.
Think about the consequences before you make a choice. If you choose an aggressive response, you will most likely escalate the situation decreasing your chance to resolve the situation. If you choose a passive-aggressive response and ignore your anger, you will mostly likely take it out on someone or something else later. If you are assertive and let the other person know that you are angry, you will express your anger in a positive way. Then you are mostly likely on your way to finding a solution. When you are assertive, you are expressing your anger in a safe way and considering a fair outcome to resolving the problem.
Identify the source of your feelings and decide if you want to act now to solve the problem or reschedule the conversation. You know when you are in a heated situation that will lead to anger, arguments, and hurt feelings. Decide if this is something you want to discuss at the current moment. This is different from being passive-aggressive because you are still expressing that you are feeling angry and want to discuss the issue, but would like to talk about it at another time.
Evaluate your success. Think about the situation later. What about your reaction to anger worked? What didn’t work? What might you have done differently in that situation? Did you do a good job? Are you satisfied with the way you handled your anger?
By re-evaluating the situation after the fact, you are providing yourself with an opportunity to learn from your own anger and responses. You can work toward managing your anger in a way that becomes productive for you and your family.
We welcome your comments or suggestions.
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Copyright 2003 Aspen Education Group
Aspen Education Group (AEG) is an organization that is committed to improving the quality of life for youth and their families. Headquartered in Cerritos, California. Aspen operates forty-eight (48) programs in twelve (12) states. Aspen has been providing innovative quality educational programs that promote academic and personal growth for over two decades.
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What To Do When You Are Angry Friday, 09 January 2009 What To Do When You Are Angry ASPEN Education Group http://www.aspeneducation.com HELP FOR TODAY - HOPE FOR TOMORROW WHAT TO DO...
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