Mums of Special Needs Children: Avoid Burnout
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Parents of Special Needs children often find themselves trying to burn the candle at both ends. It seems the stresses and strains we endure on a daily basis go far and beyond what we would believe ourselves able to cope with. But cope we do. Year in, year out - often with no support injected from any outside agencies. At one of our recent visits to our son's clinical psychologist, I was informed that if I were in a paid profession I would probably be able to sue for burnout,. It was at the end of the summer holiday which ran for 7 weeks (bar two days) this year and by this time it was easily apparent that I was at the end of my rope,. As we have battled for years with our Social Services department to get respite care during the holidays and got nowhere, it is not difficult to see why I often feel like an elastic band which has been stretched beyond breaking point! So how do we avoid burnout,? Well, there are a number of suggestions which help A LITTLE. However, I would not even venture to suggest that the high levels of stress we have to work through can be alleviated with one or two adjustments - they can't, but to follow are some tips which just might help the over-stressed parent. 1; If there doesn't seem to be enough hours in the day, let your standards go a little. So what if your house doesn't look like a show home - no matter. 2; Take at least half an hour; ideally an hour for yourself every day. Have a coffee and read a magazine, take a scented bath, paint your finger and t nails. 3; Throw it away. List everything that is worrying you on a piece of paper, from problems at work to relationship worries. When you have finished, chop the paper into little pieces and throw it in the bin. 4; Don't attempt to be superman or woman. Learn to accept that you can't do everything at once. It's no good being the most perfect person in the graveyard is it! Sometimes things just have to be put aside until you have the time to get round to them. Learn to try to close your mind to certain things. 5; Join on-line support groups. It is amazing, how much strength you get from being able to speak, to others in a similar situation to yourself who you can gain support from and give support to. There are hundreds of mailing lists, newsgroups, clubs and message boards where you will find friends who know exactly what you are going through. 6; Try getting to an exercise class once a week. Aerobics, line dancing, step or any other group. All will give you a much needed energy, not to mention confidence boost. Not only this but you will enjoy the social aspect too. 7; Treat yourself once a week. It could only be a bottle of perfume or a new set of undies, but do something, or buy yourself something which makes you feel special and a person in your own right - not just someone's Mum. 8; Organize yourself. If you feel you have 1,001 things to do every day apart from the usual round of school or medical appointments we often have, getting the child (ren) ready and off to school, possibly going out to work too, try to prioritize your tasks. Make a list of everything you have to do, starting with the most important and work down to the least important ones. Tick off each job as it is completed. Even if you don't manage to get through the whole list, by prioritizing, you will at least know that you have completed your most important tasks. 9; Possibly sometimes easier said than done, but just try to cut down on fatty and sugary food, take out and processed ready meals. Eat more fresh fruit and vegetables, and cut down on caffeine and alcohol intake. Check food labels and watch those additives, such as colorings, salt, preservatives, and artificial flavors. 10; Fill your house with your favorite type of music. Even if you only have chance to listen while doing the dusting, play tracks which evoke joyful memories for you. 11; In the evenings after a busy day, light some oil burners and fill your home with the aroma of soothing aromatherapy oils. Your Special Needs children will also benefit from aromatherapy. 12; Try to encourage yourself into thinking positively. Difficult at times I know! But by daily affirmations it is often possible to improve state of mind. ~ Good luck ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Gail Miller is author of:
WILD CHILD - A Mother, A Son And ADHD
webmistress of THE ADHD WEBSITE
and of SPECIAL NEEDS UK
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