Have You Seen My Palette?
by Catie Have you ever had to complete one of those "self tests" ? The kind where you are asked to describe or categorize something about yourself. They drive me nuts. I literally freeze with indecision. The simplest question, say "Describe your temperament", is enough to send me in a tizzy. My perception of how I want to be, battles with what I really am, which in turn battles with my distorted view of how I am (you know, that part of the brain that tells you you are supposed to be a size 6). Describing myself is like painting a picture of fog; there is no black and white here. Now the strange thing is that, I can pick up on other people with no effort at all. Before he even opens his mouth in morning, I can tell where my youngest's head is at. I can tell by the tone of my sister's voice if something is wrong. Before saying hello to anyone, I can size them up in the blink of an eye.....and I'm rarely wrong. So, why is it such a labor to figure out what my likes/dislikes, weaknesses/strengths are? Girls are still raised with an emphasis on their nurturing side. Well, that is fine. Nurturing is wonderful thing. It isn't so wonderful, however, when it is emphasized to such an extreme that the main message in a girl's upbringing is "others before self, ALWAYS". This kind of a message leads to all kind of issues; physical as well as emotional. Now I'm hoping that one day, I'll look at one of these little tests, and whip out an answer without feeling the overwhelming urge to run to my husband for verification. That is my goal; to be so in touch with what and who I am, that painting an emotional self-portrait will become possible in my lifetime. - Catie
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