Whether you like to stick your feet into your favorite shoes or go into life with your soles bare, foot puns are one of our favorite topics, so let’s hop right into it. Put your right foot in and something-something, now let’s just get to some great puns and jokes about feet.
Here are 50+ creative foot puns that will make you flip (& flop) from laughter, including the best foot one-liners, funny broken foot puns, great bare feet jokes and more.
Funny Foot jokes one liners
- What do you call a fly without wings? Walking home.
- What was the foot’s favorite food? Shoe-shi.
- What do feet like to have on their sandwiches? Toe jam.
- What do feet like at breakfast? Toe-st.
- Why can’t my dad play football? Because he died five years ago.
- What does a foot call his father’s brother? His ankle.
- What’s the best pair of shoes to wear for a break-in? Sneakers.
Foot Puns Names
- What do pigs make their shoes from? People.
- What’s a foot’s favorite snack? Dori-toes.
- Why did the feet have to go to the lawyer? Because his socks were leaving him.
- Why did the shoe go the emergency room? Because someone must have laced his drink.
- Which ancient philosopher was most known for their feet? Sock-rates.
- What do feet use to stay fresh? Men-toes.
- A doctor examines a patient who just came into the emergency room. There’s nothing wrong with the man except for scribbles on his feet and a fever. The doctor prescribes paracetamol for the fever, but calls his professor about the rest. “I don’t know what to tell the man.” says the doctor. His professor asks, “How about you read the footnotes?”
Big feet puns one liners
- What’s worse than finding an empty shoe? Finding a shoe with a big foot in it.
- Why didn’t the pair of shoes get along anymore? Because they couldn’t both be right.
- What’s a difference between a table and a plank? Feet.
- Where do you find a giraffe that doesn’t have any feet? Exactly where you left him, he can’t go anywhere.
- What do bananas wear on their feet when they go to bed at night? Slippers.
- Why did the shoe get fired from work? Because he was a loafer.
- What’s the worst type of shoes to wear to a funeral? Tap dancing shoes.
- What should you do with a talking shoe? Put a sock in it.
- What should you do with a talking foot? Call the news immediately, it’s a talking foot.
- What should you do when you see a foot holding a knife? Don’t argue with it, just back away slowly.
- What’s scary and has more than 100 feet? Jumping off the Empire State Building.
- What did the astronaut do with his toenails? Eclipse them!
Small feet jokes
- Why did the cannibal prefer to eat people who couldn’t dance? Because they had two left feet.
- If you want someone to understand something, walk a mile in their shoes. By the time they understand it, you’ll be a mile away and own their shoes.
- What did the left foot say to the right foot? Nothing, because feet can’t talk.
- What do you do if you see talking shoe? Find the talking sock and introduce them to one another immediately.
Foot puns about love
- Why do shoes have laces? Because they like to feel good about themselves.
- Do shoes go to heaven with us? Only the ones with good and pure soles.
- What do you call a shoe that follows you around everywhere? Creepy.
- Why did the shoe go on a dating site? Because he had to find a mate.
- What do you call a selfie of your feet? A pho-toe.
Bare feet jokes
- What do you call a fly without wings? Differently abled would be the polite thing to call it.
- A man walks into a mob bar and sees them stacking shoes on the counter. “What are you doing there, boss?” he asks. “I’ve had a brilliant idea!” responds the head mobster. “We’ll be making some of our money counter-feeting.”
- How do you measure a foot fetish? It’s in the amount of feet.
- The doctor says I have an injury to my shin, but I think he’s talking below-knee.
- Why do shoes go to church every other Sunday? So their soles can be heeled.
- What do you call two feet in jail? Oscar Pistorius’ legs.
- How do you know that Quintin Tarantino has a foot fetish? Because he films a lot of footage.
Foot puns for podiatry
- A man goes to the emergency room after a severe accident and the doctor says they have to amputate both his feet. “What am I going to do now?” he asks
- My doctor recommended that I start wearing orthopedic shoes from now on. I didn’t think they would be useful at all, but I think I stand corrected.
- What’s a shoe’s worst nightmare when taking his family to a fancy restaurant? The need to foot the bill.
- I picked up a nasty case of athlete’s foot from the gym showers the other day. At first I hated it, but now it’s starting to grow on me.
- My three-year-old started acting like a flamingo the other day. I took him to a doctor to ask what I should do about it. Their answer was, “You should just put your foot down.”
- What do you call a hipster with one foot? Disabled, don’t be mean about it.
- What was the shoe’s favorite music? Hip hop.
- The baker goes to the doctor after dropping a heavy load on his feet. “What should I do?” he asks the doctor. The doctor says, “Have you tried to ice it yet?”
- Why don’t kangaroos wear fancy shoes? Because they can’t afford them.
- What do you call someone with nine toes? Luckier than someone with four.
- I hate action figures without feet, I just can’t seem to stand them.
Funny Broken Foot Puns
- What do you call someone with a broken foot? Lucky, they could have broken both.
- I went to the doctor to pick up my new prosthetic limbs yesterday. I’m not happy, it cost me an arm and a leg.
- What do doctors call a broken foot? Painful.
- How do you know an employee broke a foot at work? They’ll tell you.
- Why did I have to go to a shrink after breaking a foot? Because the whole experience left me feeling a little unstable.