Let’s share some appreciation for all the world’s teachers – even if they’re the ones who give us tons of homework to take home every day! The world wouldn’t be the same without teachers in it, and teachers need a laugh every now and then too!
Here are some of the best creative teacher puns that are everything they’re chalked up to be, including some of the best one-liner teacher jokes, back to school jokes for teachers, funny jokes to tell your teacher and more.
Teacher Jokes One Liners
Why do so many teachers drink coffee in the morning? Because they’re not allowed to drink vodka.
What’s the difference between a teacher and a professor? The salary you get offered.
What do you call a teacher who isn’t good at math? A math teacher.
Why do teachers have to write things down on the board? So that they can remember them.
What do you call a teacher who finally understands everything in the subject they teach? About to retire.
What do you call a teacher who has everything they need in their lives? A lottery ticket winner.
Why should you always stay in school? Because otherwise you might grow up to teach physical education classes.
How much does the average teacher in the United States get paid? Not enough.
What do you call a teacher who makes a lot of money? Doing business on the side.
Why do people choose to become math teachers? Because they couldn’t choose to become anything else.
Where do most teachers keep their money? In their will.
Back to School Jokes for Teachers
What do you call the smartest student in your whole class? Cheating.
How do you know that someone is a teacher? They’ll tell you.
What do you call the kids who get the highest marks in the class? The least amount of effort for teachers.
Which school pays their teachers the best? Hogwarts.
Where do you find a school that pays their teachers well? In the same place you might find some hen’s teeth.
What do you call a friendly teacher? A retired one.
What do you call a teacher who isn’t getting enough sleep? All of them.
What do you call a teacher who doesn’t have their own car? A cab company would be nice.
What do you call students that scare their teachers? Back at school.
What do you call a teacher that’s going to retire soon? Finally happy with their lives.
What do you call a teacher that really loves their job? Retired.
What do you call a teacher who has money to invest? A lottery winner.
Funny Jokes to Tell Your Teacher
What’s a teacher’s favorite fruit? The cherry machine.
What do all teachers need but none of them ever get at Christmas? Money.
What do you call a teacher who has taught their students everything they know? Very tired.
Which type of apple would a teacher appreciate the most? One that’s been made out of solid gold.
What do you call a teacher joke that teachers will laugh at? The truth.
Why do teachers never bring their lunch to work? So they can eat someone else’s.
What do you call a math teacher who has spare time? Retired.
What do you call a rich teacher? Professor.
What is the most difficult subject for teachers? Life.
What do all teachers wish for? Some rest.
Where do teachers get most of their sleep? Their coffin.
What do you call a teacher’s favorite student? Smart.
How do you know that a fellow teacher is about to retire? They’ll tell you.
What do you call a teacher who has money? Recently divorced.
Sarcastic Teacher Jokes
What do you call a young and happy teacher? Still new at this, they’ll learn.
What do you call a teacher who knows everything about their subject? Dead.
What do you call a teacher who loves all their students the same way? Retired already.
What do you call a retired teacher? Happy at last.
Knock Knock Teacher Jokes
I’ll teach you something if you don’t open this door!
Teacher to leave the door open before I get home!
Puns for Teachers’ Appreciation
What do you call a teacher who always laughs at their own jokes? The principal.
How do you know someone is the principal of a school? They’ll point it out.
How do teachers remember which food in the fridge is supposed to be theirs? They mark it with a red pen.
What do you call a teacher who buys their own lunch? Rich.
What is a teacher’s favorite meal? A free one.
Elementary Teacher Puns
What do teachers love to have for lunch? For someone else to buy it.
Why do people give teachers apples? Because whole trees could never fit into the classroom.
English Teacher Jokes
What do you call a teacher who can’t speak very good English? An English teacher.
Why do English teachers choose to teach English? Because they can’t speak any French.
How do you keep an English teacher busy for five minutes? I don’t know, can you tell me, sir/ma’am?
How do you know someone teaches English as a subject? They’ll tell you about it.
What’s the one thing you’ll never see an English teacher do? Read a book in their spare time.
What do you call an English teacher with spare time? Retired.
Science Puns for Teachers
What do you call science teachers who know their subject? An endangered species.
What do you call a science teacher who isn’t great at their jobs? Experimental.
How do you know that someone is a science teacher? They’ll tell you.
What do you call a science teacher with money? Professor.
What do you call a science teacher who is bad at chemistry? Deceased.
Teacher Pun Names
What do you call a teacher who is really good at their jobs? Rare.
What do you call a teacher who loves their job? About to quit.