Are you a Harry Potterhead? You might find these puns funny if you’re a fan of the legendary franchise. Take a few minutes to read through them and give yourself a chuckle. It’s worth the effort, we promise.
Harry Potter one-liners
- Ron can Weasly his way out of any situation.
- It’s important not to get ahead of yourself and jump to the Ron conclusion!
- They never said going to Hogwarts was going to be Weasly.
- But, of curse, learning magic is hard.
- I chant, get enough of reading Harry Potter.
- Owl ask the questions in this class. Thank you very much.
- Why are you so muggle-headed about things.
- My life is always an open spellbook for you!
- You have to admit, after last night, he’s looking a little Hagrid.
- Shush, it’s time for us to remain quietus.
- You never want to go walking in Diagon Alley alone.
- Slytherins love typing messages to friends on Snapechat.
- There is no time for dawdling. Pick up the pace. You better Harry up.
- Let me tell you a Pottercularly strange Harry Potter pun.
- Spells come in all sizes and Snapes.
- You must admit Harry Potter gives the impression of a myst-sirius story at times.
- Don’t worry, owl make sure I’m right there.
- How do you get accepted into Hogwarts school? By stepping through the Dumble-door.
- What’s the biggest issue in Hogwarts School? Those darn spelling mistakes.
- Why is everyone scared of mailing letters at the Hogwarts post office? They speak in parcel-tongue.
- Why was Sirius banned from attending Hogwarts? For his black magic.
- Why is it confusing to study at Hogwarts? Students don’t know witch-craft to choose.
- What mints does Hogwarts provide its students? Enchant mints
- Why does Hogwarts fail to promote externships? They don’t have any de-mentors.
- How did Snape manage to get back to his office? He was Slytherin there.
- Why do Hogwarts students avoid coming across McGonagall in the hallway? She’s a catty person.
- Why didn’t Hogwarts students receive 10s on their papers? They required a 9 3/4s.
- Potter gets himself into Harry situations.
- When Hermione’s around, you can expect Granger things to happen.
- Gryffindor’s are known for jumping to Ron conclusions.
- Ron is somewhat of a Weasley character.
- Why do Gryffindors like to exercise? Because of all the Gryffindorphins.
- What did one Gryffindor member say to the other? I Gryffin-adore you!
- Why did Dumbledore’s phoenix never speak? He had a Fawked tongue.
- What’s Harry Potter’s life motto? Neville, give up!
- When the hat sorts you, you need to make a Snape decision if you want to be a Slytherin.
- I told you I heard it through the Snapevine.
- You’re in for a Severus problem if you haven’t read any Harry Potter stories.
- Growing up as a member of Lord Voldemort’s family really was a Gaunting task.
- We need to Riddle the world of the Death Eaters.
- There are Severus factors to consider when fighting Lord Voldemort.
- Draco’s friends were all Slytherining morons.
- You have to baron mind that Slytherins can turn into bad wizards and witches.
Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw Puns
- I assure you that Ravenclaws aren’t Luna-tics.
- Please don’t go off on a tangent and Chang the subject!
- Newcomers might have a Helena of a time making their way through life as a Ravenclaw.
- Lockhart, I was only trying to ask you a simple question.
- We don’t Sprout out answers in divination.
- Don’t let the team get shufflepuffed on the Quidditch field.
- When you are a Hufflepuff, you need to ensure you’re hufflin’ every day.
Hilarious Harry Potter Jokes
- What do you get if you mix Hagrid with Harry Potter? Hairy Potter
- How do wizards stop itching after a mosquito bite? Quidditch
- Why don’t wizards get lost? Because they’re natural wand-erers.
- Why doesn’t Black ever laugh at anything? Because he’s Sirius.
- What id the theme song for dementors? “You take my breath away”
- What did the crowd say after Harry got the golden snitch? He’s a keeper.
- Why do wizards not like walking down the street at night? They’re afraid they might get muggled.
- Why is Fred avoiding the Chamber of Secrets? He’s a-Fred!
- Why do people avoid Hermione? Because she’s Grangerous.
- Why does George need to take naps? He had his bread and butterbeer.
- I’m trying to write a story on Platform 9 3/4. But I keep on hitting a wall.