61 Hilarious Harry Potter Puns for Kids

Are you a Harry Potterhead? You might find these puns funny if you’re a fan of the legendary franchise. Take a few minutes to read through them and give yourself a chuckle. It’s worth the effort, we promise.

Hilarious Harry Potter Puns for Kids

Harry Potter one-liners

  • Ron can Weasly his way out of any situation.
  • It’s important not to get ahead of yourself and jump to the Ron conclusion!
  • They never said going to Hogwarts was going to be Weasly.
  • But, of curse, learning magic is hard.
  • I chant, get enough of reading Harry Potter.
  • Owl ask the questions in this class. Thank you very much.
  • Why are you so muggle-headed about things.
  • My life is always an open spellbook for you!
  • You have to admit, after last night, he’s looking a little Hagrid.
  • Shush, it’s time for us to remain quietus.
  • You never want to go walking in Diagon Alley alone.
  • Slytherins love typing messages to friends on Snapechat.
  • There is no time for dawdling. Pick up the pace. You better Harry up.
  • Let me tell you a Pottercularly strange Harry Potter pun.
  • Spells come in all sizes and Snapes.
  • You must admit Harry Potter gives the impression of a myst-sirius story at times.
  • Don’t worry, owl make sure I’m right there.

Hogwarts Puns

  • How do you get accepted into Hogwarts school? By stepping through the Dumble-door.
  • What’s the biggest issue in Hogwarts School? Those darn spelling mistakes.
  • Why is everyone scared of mailing letters at the Hogwarts post office? They speak in parcel-tongue.
  • Why was Sirius banned from attending Hogwarts? For his black magic.
  • Why is it confusing to study at Hogwarts? Students don’t know witch-craft to choose.
  • What mints does Hogwarts provide its students? Enchant mints
  • Why does Hogwarts fail to promote externships? They don’t have any de-mentors.
  • How did Snape manage to get back to his office? He was Slytherin there.
  • Why do Hogwarts students avoid coming across McGonagall in the hallway? She’s a catty person.
  • Why didn’t Hogwarts students receive 10s on their papers? They required a 9 3/4s.

Hilarious Harry Potter Puns for Kids

Gryffindor Puns

  • Potter gets himself into Harry situations.
  • When Hermione’s around, you can expect Granger things to happen.
  • Gryffindor’s are known for jumping to Ron conclusions.
  • Ron is somewhat of a Weasley character.
  • Why do Gryffindors like to exercise? Because of all the Gryffindorphins.
  • What did one Gryffindor member say to the other? I Gryffin-adore you!
  • Why did Dumbledore’s phoenix never speak? He had a Fawked tongue.
  • What’s Harry Potter’s life motto? Neville, give up!

Slytherin Puns

  • When the hat sorts you, you need to make a Snape decision if you want to be a Slytherin.
  • I told you I heard it through the Snapevine.
  • You’re in for a Severus problem if you haven’t read any Harry Potter stories.
  • Growing up as a member of Lord Voldemort’s family really was a Gaunting task.
  • We need to Riddle the world of the Death Eaters.
  • There are Severus factors to consider when fighting Lord Voldemort.
  • Draco’s friends were all Slytherining morons.
  • You have to baron mind that Slytherins can turn into bad wizards and witches.

Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw Puns

  • I assure you that Ravenclaws aren’t Luna-tics.
  • Please don’t go off on a tangent and Chang the subject!
  • Newcomers might have a Helena of a time making their way through life as a Ravenclaw.
  • Lockhart, I was only trying to ask you a simple question.
  • We don’t Sprout out answers in divination.
  • Don’t let the team get shufflepuffed on the Quidditch field.
  • When you are a Hufflepuff, you need to ensure you’re hufflin’ every day.

Hilarious Harry Potter Jokes

  • What do you get if you mix Hagrid with Harry Potter? Hairy Potter
  • How do wizards stop itching after a mosquito bite? Quidditch
  • Why don’t wizards get lost? Because they’re natural wand-erers.
  • Why doesn’t Black ever laugh at anything? Because he’s Sirius.
  • What id the theme song for dementors? “You take my breath away”
  • What did the crowd say after Harry got the golden snitch? He’s a keeper.
  • Why do wizards not like walking down the street at night? They’re afraid they might get muggled.
  • Why is Fred avoiding the Chamber of Secrets? He’s a-Fred!
  • Why do people avoid Hermione? Because she’s Grangerous.
  • Why does George need to take naps? He had his bread and butterbeer.
  • I’m trying to write a story on Platform 9 3/4. But I keep on hitting a wall.
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