The law is a serious practice, but we can still poke fun at it. Lawyer jokes are a fun way to look at the industry in a lighthearted manner. Let’s look at a few law jokes and puns.
Short lawyer jokes
- A man sued the hotel for losing his luggage. Unfortunately, he lost his case.
- Don’t judge a law book by the cover-up.
- A lawyer visited a local restaurant for a drink after winning a trial. The waiter asked, “what can I get you with your whiskey?”, “just-ice,” the lawyer replied.
- The judge administered the semicolon that committed the crimes two consecutive sentences.
- Children may not attend the bar examination because they’re underage.
- The lawyer worked on Cole’s law over lunch.
- My friend called a lawyer because he found his neighbor’s hair littered across his property. The court booked the neighbor for tress-passing.
- The lawyer was arrested at the mall for not staying under house arrest mandated by the court. “Halt, you’re under a-rest,” shouted the cop.
- Abraham Lincoln never needed a lawyer because he was in-a-cent.
Funny lawyer jokes one-liners
- The lawyer moved his cow because it received a mooing violation.
- The lawyer’s client faced the death penalty because of his bad execution.
- After chickens graduate from law school, they retain the title of legal tenders.
- My husband’s parents fled from the police after a hefty argument. Now, they’re my out-laws.
- My lawyer friend stole my tux after his wedding. I’m going to file a lawsuit against him tomorrow.
- The priest who graduates law school is known as a “father-in-law.”
- The lawyer won his lawsuit for stolen luggage lawsuit in a few hours. It was a brief case.
Law Student Jokes
- Why did the law student wear a shirt with no sleeves to court? Because he felt he had the right to bare arms.
- Why couldn’t the convicted law student return to his apartment? Because it wasn’t re-leased.
- The divorce law student decided to name his new law firm “Null and Void.”
- What do law students require to make any event a huge success? At least two parties.
- Why didn’t the badly-dressed law student pass the bar? He failed to make a good appearance.
- Why was the law student prevented from sleeping on the park bench? He was served with a bench warrant.
- Why did the law student fail to reappear in court after paying his bail? He didn’t take a personal bond.
- Why did the airline lawyer win her case against the newbie law student? He forgot his arguments in his brief.
- Why did the law student fail to win her case? She had no conviction.
- How did the law student score the best grades in his class? He studied his flaws closely.
- What did the judge exclaim after the defendant passed gas in the courtroom? Odor! Odor in my court!
- What’s the similarity between an English teacher and a judge? They both hand out short and long sentences.
- Why did the judge declare the horse innocent? It deneighed the accusations.
- Why did the judge give the penguin bail? He wasn’t a flight risk.
- What did the judge say to a battery when he stood in the dock? I find you guilty as charged.
- What did the judge use to balance the lizard’s arguments? The “scales” of justice.
- Why do judges dread listening to a cross-examination? It gives them test anxiety.
- Why did the judge sentence the defendant to 20 years for breaking the lamp? The man didn’t pay the damages.
- What is the primary difference between a lawyer and God? God understands He’s not a lawyer.
- What’s the difference between a good and an excellent lawyer? A good lawyer knows the law, and an excellent lawyer knows the judge!
- What do you call 1,000 lawyers lying at the bottom of the sea? A great start.
- What do you call 10,000 lawyers lying at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean? The Great Barrister reef.
- What do lawyers have in common with sperm? Only one in a million has a chance of becoming a real person.
- Why is it unethical for lawyers to have intimate relationships with their clients? It prevents people from being double-charged for the same service.