Do you like pigs? They’re highly intelligent animals, so they can probably take a joke. Read through this list of pig jokes and have a laugh with your friends. Take your time and enjoy. That’ll do, pig.
Pig jokes one liners
- Piglets wanted to do something special for Mother’s Day, so they threw their mom a sowprize party.
- What do you call a car wash for pigs? A hogwash.
- I saw a pig suffering from the effects of laryngitis. He was feeling pretty disgruntled.
- What do you call a pig that has a career as a thief? A hamburglar.
- Why should you avoid robbing a bank with a pig? They’ll squeal on you if they get caught.
- How do pigs get from an accident scene to the hospital? In a ham-bulance.
- How do pigs write their friend’s secret messages? Using invisible oink!
- Why do pigs make terrible footballers? They don’t like handling the “pig skin.”
- What do you get when you cross a cactus and a pig? A porky-pine.
- Why did the piglet squeal at his sibling at the dinner trough? He was hogging all the food.
- A pig invited me around to his home. I was surprised it was so sty-lish.
- If a pig learned to fly, would bacon skyrocket in price?
- What’s the pig’s favorite color? Mahogany.
- Why did the pig struggle to tie her shoelaces? She was ham-fisted.
- What’s the difference between a flying pig and a politician? The letter ‘F’.
- What do you call a pig that has three eyes? Piiig.
- What happens when you play tug-of-war with pigs? You pull pork.
- Why can’t you tell a secret to a pig? Because they always squeal to their friends.
- What do you call pigs with a skin rash? Eczema and ham.
- Why did the farmer refuse to share his bed with the pig? Because it kept hogging the covers.
Funny pig names
- You can call a smart pig Cunningham.
- Francis Bacon is the ideal name for a philosophical pig.
- Harry Porker is a great name for a pig that brings magic into your life.
- Mudpie is a sweet name for a cute piglet.
- Hamlet describes a pig that loves to listen to you read them Shakespeare.
- Call a pig that likes running away from its pen “ink.”
- A ground-hog describes a pig that doesn’t have any legs.
- A road hog is a pig that doesn’t like sharing the road with other drivers.
- Ein-swine is the smartest pig in the world.
- A wart-hog describes a pig with bad skin and terrible personal hygiene.
Cute pig puns for kids
- Why did the pig decide to cross the road? He got boared and wanted to check out the other side.
- What treatment do you give a pig when they get sick? Oinkment!
- What does a pig say when the sun starts to burn them? “I’m bacon!”
- What do you call a pig that’s a master of kung fu? A pork chop.
- What sport did pigs invent? Mud wrestling.
Pig culture jokes
- What’s the first passage in the pig bible? It reads, “In the bacon-ing”
- What did the pig do when it found a pork in the road? It chose the road less traveled.
- What do you call a pig that appears in your imagination? A pig-ment of your dreams.
- What do pig’s use for soap? Hogwash.
- What’s a pig’s favorite bank holiday? Ar-boar Day.
- What do pigs refer to as the start of creation? The pig bang.
- People might let you down sometimes, but you can always depend on bacon.
- When confronted with his error, he realized he made a pig mistake.
- What item does a pig take to the beach? A surf-boar-d
- Why did the pig bring a blanket to the park? To have a pig-nic.
- What do you call a pig that has the good fortune of winning the lottery? Filthy rich!
- What did the farmer do when the pig pen broke? He changed to using a pencil.
Finance pig jokes
- Where do pigs like to invest their money? In a piggy bank.
- It’s called collab-boar-ation when pigs decide to work together on a project.
- A pig becomes a boar-ower when he takes a loan from the piggy bank.
- When a pig lives high on the hog, he risks going into hock.
- The boss fired the pig for Insu-boar-dination.
- Pig psychology jokes
- What do you call a pig that’s a pathological liar? A pig with a porcine-ality disorder.
- What do you say to overbearing pigs? Stop porcine these issues.
- What do you say to pigs that like to procrastinate? Listen, pig, it’s snout or never.
- How do you make a pig happy on her birthday? Throw her a sow-prize party.
- What do pigs celebrate on their birthday? The day they were boar-n.
- The pig was crying because he was boar-ed to tears.
Long pig jokes
- The religious cowboy lost his Bible out on the range one day. Three weeks later, the pig walked up to him with the Bible in his mouth. The cowboy was shocked at the scene. He took his Bible out of the pig’s mouth and said, ‘It’s a miracle!’
- One day a pig walked into a restaurant and asked for a glass of lemonade. He asked the waiter where he could find the toilet, and the waiter said, “Down the hall to the right and straight ahead.”
- Another pig arrived at the restaurant. Similarly, he asked the waiter for some lemonade and directions to the bathroom. The waiter brought the drink and said, “Down the hall to the right and straight ahead.”
- A third pig walked into the restaurant and asked for a glass of lemonade, and then the waiter said, ‘Don’t you want to know where the toilet is too?”
- The pig replied, “No, I’m the piggy that went wee wee wee all the way home.”
Knock-knock jokes about pigs
Pig me up for a date at eight o’clock.
Why don’t you pig on someone your own size!