You Can’t A-Ford to Miss Out on These Hilarious Car Puns!

Are you going on a road trip? Check out some of these car puns, jokes, and one-liners to pass the time in the car. It sure beats spotting license plates!

Funny Puns about Cars

Why did the baby cross the road? – it wasn’t strapped into the car seat.

This Xmas, I got a new car for my husband – It was a great trade.

What do 40-year-old men put inside their cars – Kids.

What was Hitler’s favorite car? – A fuhrerri.

What did Batman say to Robin before they jumped in the Batmobile? – Get in the car.

What do you call a drunk dude trying to start his car? An Uber, friends don’t let friends drive drunk.

What car does Yoda drive? – A Toyoda

Get a new car for your wife; it will be the trade-in of a lifetime.

My last relationship ended when I didn’t open the car door for my girlfriend. I swam for the surface instead.

What happened to the wooden car with wooden wheels, seats, and engine? – It wooden go very far.

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Funny Car One-liners

My friend’s car was broken for ages because he couldn’t a-Ford to fix it.

The cops recovered my stolen car using its serial number. I feel vindicated.

A wheel flew off the car, knocking my teeth out. It all occurred axel-dentally.

I decided to fast today; I’m cooking some KoenigsEGG pasta and Bugatti Bolognese.

My Russian mech souped my ride. Now it handles like a Borscht!

When I’m visiting Santiago, I drive myself to the restaurants. I love my little Chile-con-car.

I was having lunch with a friend and said, KIA pass me the steak sauce?

My expensive ride got stuck in the mud flats. It was a Porsche muck.

My wife took her driver’s test yesterday. She got 7 out of 10. The other 3 guys jumped out of the way.

My sister bet me I couldn’t eat spaghetti and drive – You shoulda seen her face as I drove pasta.

Why do people think Chevrolet is an environmentally-friendly car brand? – Because the motor never starts.

What does the acronym for the car brand FIAT stand for? – Fixing It Again Tomorrow.

What do you get when you cross a car and your pet – A carpet.

How do I double the value of a Russian-made car? – Fill up its tank.

A got a pre-owned car yesterday; I used a car-deal-ogist to broker the sale.

I went off the road and hit a frog. My car was toadaled.

A secretary made an error and indented her car after creating too narrow a margin.

A guy accidentally drove his Italian import into a giant shrink-wrap machine. His FIAT was sealed.

After an accident on the car’s carpet, the owner stripped it of its car-pet privileges.

A preowned car salesman started a chain of dealerships, founding his Auto-man Empire.

Buying a car requires the salesman to put on a show which is why they use a showroom.

I drove my car into a tree once and figured out how a Mercedes-bends.

After completing the test drive, the auto salesman drove home his point.

A cop stopped me in the hospital parking lot and told me, “You can’t park over here. It’s badge holders only.”

He’s a real self-starter. He installs ignitions in cars.

Bunnies commute to work in the Rabbit Transit.

He can’t stand his job selling preowned cars, but that’s his lot in life.

I raced cars but couldn’t get along with anyone because they thought I was racist.

Funny Car wash Puns

I built a car using my washing machine motor. I’m taking it for a spin this afternoon.

What do you call the presidents car wash? George washing ton

I washed the car with my son, and he said, “can’t you use a sponge?”

My dalmatian ran away from me and through the car wash. He’s spotless.

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Hilarious Driving puns

I have a fear of going over speed bumps, but I’m slowly getting over it.

I got lost while driving from Illinois to Oklahoma. I’ve been in a state of Missouri since.

Was driving by a prison when I saw a midget climbing out of the window. I thought that’s a little con-descending.

People might want to drive a transparent car, but I’d steer clear of it.

Someone complimented my driving yesterday. They left a note on the windshield that read, Parking Fine.

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Funny Car Jokes

I know road rage is awful, but when someone bumped me, I got out my camera and snapped at the offender.

I believe I’ll be able to run my car on politicians’ promises. I’m having trouble maintaining the fool injection system.

I used to rotate and balance tires at an auto shop. I had to quit because it felt like I was just spinning my wheels.

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Funny Car One-liners

What cars do chefs drive? – Chef-rolets.

What kind of fuel does Vin use? – Diesel.

What has wheels and flies down the road? – A garbage truck.

What kind of cars do chickens drive? – A Yolks-wagen.

Why did the police pull over the U-Haul? – They wanted to bust a move.

Do you know what really grinds my gears? – When my clutch fails.

What kind of car does a ghost drive? – Boo-icks.

What did Kimmy get for her birthday after she was in a horrific car accident? – An amputation.

What do you call a Hispanic driver that loses his car? – Carloss.

What do you talk to after a car crash? – The witnesses.