What’s eating Gilbert Grape? We are! Check out these hilarious grape puns, one-liners, and jokes. We’re sure you’re going to have a grape time with them!
Grape minds think alike.
It’s grape to see you again.
You can achieve grapeness.
I hope you have a grape day.
I heard it through the grapevine.
Stop graping about everything.
Stop being such sour grapes.
Use a cheese graper.
That sound grapes my ears.
Time to disinter-grape.
Not all heroes wear grapes.
You’re grapable of great things.
I’m very grapeful for your help.
Funny Grape One-Liners
What happens when sour grapes get angry? They try raisin hell!
What did the dad grape say to his crying baby grape? Stop wine-ing, kid.
How do you think the grapes complain? Oh, they just vine.
What did the grape say to the others in its bunch? It’s grape hanging out with you guys.
What if someone offered raisins with juice in them? Oh, that would be grape.
What did the grape say when asked to jump in a drink? Of course, wine not!
What fruits do batteries like most? The currants.
How do I measure the length of grapevines? They do it in vineyards.
What would a grape say if you stepped on it? It will let out a little wine.
Where would the raisins keep their money? In the currant account.
What do superheros who don’t wear capes and dislike grapes say? Not all heroes wear grapes.
What did the sour grape do? All he could do was wine.
Why were blueberries scared of the raisin? Because raisin was once known as grape.
What is a news show about berries be called? A currant affairs show.
Where do priests get fresh and holy grapes? Off devine.
Why don’t farmers grow grapes? Because they are actually raisin them.
What would be the best name for a wine shop? Best Cellar.
Why did the judges disqualify the grape from the limbo championship? He kept raisin the bar.
What do you call the time between eating your grapes? A pit-stop.
What would the purple grape say to the green grape? Let go, you idiot. Breathe!
Why was the grape late to its work? He had to make a pit stop en route.
What would a grape love to pet? A Pit Bull.
What do you call men who can’t stop eating grapes? A bottomless pit.
What kind of decisions do grapes make? Fruitful ones.
Saw a grape in the bank. He was opening a currant account.
A hangover: the wrath of grapes.
Did you hear my joke about grapes? It was pit-iful.
Why did the grapes get married? They love raisin’ kids.
My mother likes stepping on the grapes and squishing them. She believes it is her jam.
My friend made a song about preserves. He called it is his currant jam.
Two grapes met at the beach and they fell in love. Soon they were raisin kids.
Who is a grape’s favorite actor? Brad Pit.
A grape wanted to go suntanning, and the other grapes in the bunch said, “You are being unraisinable.”
The raisin stopped in the road. He ran out of his juice.
I met a grape who loves being in the sun. I think it was his raisin d’etre.
Funny Grape Jokes
There’s a rumor about my group of cows that only eat small fruit. I heard it through the grapevine.
My dad says dried grapes are risky to use in beef marinades, and still, once in a while, he ends up raisin his steaks.
The news said that a man drowned in grape stomping. He probably went with the currant.
If I speak about old grapes, I’m be raisin awareness of old age, or would it just be a wine?
I visited the fruit stall to buy grapes, but they were out of stock. It turned out to be a fruitless waste of time.
My friend presented an essay in economics class. It started, ‘Many grapes were berried alive in the grape depression.’
I got lost in the winery during my parent’s wine tasting tour. I said, ‘If someone can lead me to my parents, it would be grape,’ everyone just started laughing.
A fruit seller I know had dried out all his grapes. He ended up raisin all his prices. A pretty smart seller, that man.
I always have a bunch of grapes drying in my backyard. When my friend asked about them I said, “I have my raisins.’
I swapped one hundred grapes for seventy raisins at the bureau de change. I don’t know about the currant exchange rate.
Why did the farmer secure a huge loan on his most productive grape tree? Because he was raisin debt-tree.
What do you say if a grape falls off its vine and ends up drying? Everything happens for a raisin.
Why do scientists write papers about grapes and consciousness? They are just raisin awareness.
A grape walked into the fruit mixer and didn’t thank it for not squishing it. He was quite an ungrapeful one.My friend said a wine he tried recently was bitter and not properly fermented. Sounds like sour grapes to me.
My brother wore her grape bunch suit with balloons acting as grapes for Halloween. My mother looked at her and asked, ‘Will he let out the wine if I burst the grape?’ we all laughed hard.