Fire isn’t funny, and being a firefighter is one of the world’s most serious jobs. But that doesn’t mean you can’t have a laugh! Here are some of the best firefighter jokes that’ll sure spark a laugh.
Funny Firefighter Jokes
What starts with f and ends with k? Firetruck.
When do firefighters retire? When they’ve caught fire themselves.
What’s the difference between an arsonist and a firefighter? Their will to succeed.
Did you hear about the firefighter whose wife left him? She said he was too spontaneous.
What do you call a firefighter’s hat? Very, very important for their health.
How do most firefighters do their hair? Flames.
What starts most household fires? Weird children.
How do you know you might be living with a tribe of cannibals? They start a fire under your bath.
Why should you never leave an open fire unattended? Because they’re naughty when nobody is looking at them.
How do you know that your child might grow up to become a firefighter? They’re the ones putting out the fires instead of starting them.
What was the movie Firestarter really about? A young girl’s desire to open her own barbecue when she grows up.
Why do firefighters help to remove cats and other animals from out of trees? So that cats and other animals can just go right up the same trees again.
Which type of fire is the wrong one to call the fire department over? Getting fired from work.
What should you do if you see a firefighter smoking in uniform? Extinguish them.
Why do firefighters wear yellow uniforms in most parts of the world? Because the fires they have to fight are wearing orange.
How do firefighters fight a kitchen fire? With karate.
What’s inside most home fire extinguishers? The end of a fire.
Jokes About Firefighters
What happens in the Bible right after the burning bush is mentioned? The first firestation is built.
Why is it advised that you should always carry a fire extinguisher in your car? In case you find any flaming cows.
Why do firefighters use lights and sirens on the tops of the firetruck? So that the noise can help to scare away the fire.
How do you know that a firefighter is taking a break from work? They’re smoking.
What’s the most important way to extinguish a fire in your kitchen? By not starting a fire in your kitchen.
Why do you call a firefighter when there’s a cat stuck in a tree? Because unlike police officers, firefighters don’t carry guns out on the job
How do you know that a firefighter is really good at their job? They keep going back the next day.
How do firefighters prefer to do their hair? As short as possible.
What’s the most important thing you could hope to remember if you’re a firefighter? How to fight a fire.
What’s the most important part of a firefighter’s work gear that they can never afford to be without? Their skin.
Did you hear about the firefighter who quit his job? Yeah, but he didn’t quit. He was fired.
Short Funny Firefighter Jokes
What do you call a firefighter who smokes on the job? Bad at what they’re doing.
Why do firefighters have a higher rate of cholesterol than other professionals? Because they usually get everything fried.
Why do most women only ever date one firefighter, and then swear to never do it again in their lives? Because they don’t want to get burned twice.
How should you fight a fire? With gloves.
Where do firefighters learn how to slide down a pole? You don’t want to know.
Why don’t most firefighters like to put candles on their birthday cake like everyone else? Because they already see more than enough fire at work.
Why do calendar’s contain so many pictures of sexy firefighters? It was much harder to find sexy accountants, lawyers or plumbers.
What’s every firefighter’s least favorite song? “We Didn’t Start the Fire”
What do you call a firefighter who is really bad at their job? Burned to a crisp.
Why do firefighters wear boots with their uniform? Because it would be pretty hard to fight fires when they’re barefoot.
Funny One Liner Firefighter Jokes
Why don’t firefighters have split ends? Fire.
Why do firefighters slide down the pole at a firestation? Because it would be witchcraft if they were going all the way up the pole.
How do firefighters make sure they can slide down the pole easier in the event of an emergency? By eating a lot of fried foods at work.
Why do they put sexy firefighters in calendars? Because the rest of the firefighters were busy working.
What do you call a firefighter who got too close to their job? Flame grilled
How do you spot a firefighter at a neighborhood barbecue? They’re the only person there who actually understands the fire.
Why don’t most firefighters smoke? Because they’re good at their jobs.
Why do firefighters wear yellow overalls with stripes? So that they can look and feel more like bees when they have them on.
When did firestations become a lot more common in the world? After the great fire of London.
How do you know that someone might grow up to become a firefighter? Because they’re a real bright spark when they’re younger.
What’s the difference between an electrician and a firefighter? Who you should call when a fire starts.
Who do you call if you see a museum that’s just caught fire? The Ghostbusters.