Does anyone remember the television show According to Gym? Wait, that doesn’t sound quite right. Here are some of the best gym puns that are worth a workout – and guaranteed, they’re better than the pun we made there. Have fun with these!
Funny Gym Puns
What’s the one ingredient found in most protein shakes that nobody really talks about in public? The consumer’s tears.
Why do most people take their own shoes when it’s time to go to the gym? Because it’s not like a bowling alley that will let you rent them.
What’s the most common thing people lose at the gym? Their self esteem.
Why do some competitive athletes find it very important to go to the gym early? So that they can leave early too.
What’s the worst thing you can pick up at the gym? Anything heavy.
Why do most fitness experts recommend that you carry a few bottles of water around with you when you exercise? Because buying water at the gym is very, very expensive.
Why do weightlifters at the gym have someone who acts as a spotter? Because the spotter is a much more experienced weightlifter who already knows more or less how much it’s going to hurt you.
Which type of pool can you find at most commercial gym buildings? A betting pool for which of the patrons will pass out first.
Why are there surveillance cameras found in most commercial gym buildings these days? So that the footage can be streamed for foreign game shows and the viewers can place bets.
What’s the most important thing to remember when you’re going to the gym? Where the gym is located.
How can you tell that your gym session has been going for long enough? You’ve gone past your pain threshold and no longer feel anything at all.
Why is there always a Starbucks near a gym? So that people have a reason to drive through the area and think that it’s a good idea to sign up to the gym.
What’s the worst exercise machine to choose when you go to the gym? The one that hurts the most.
Why is the gym one of the worst places to go to pick up a date? Because that’s not what most people are there for, and because websites like Tinder exist now.
More Funny Gym Puns
What’s the heaviest thing you can pick up in the entire gym? Herpes, maybe athlete’s foot under the right circumstances.
What’s the worst thing you can do at a gym session according to most people who have been to one? Show up to one in the first place.
Why should you always hydrate when going to exercise at the gym? To exorcise the demons from your body before you begin, they like a detox every now and then.
How do you know that someone has enough time on their hands for an extra hobby or two? A gym membership.
How can you tell that your personal trainer is underqualified? Part of the training regimen is to hit a line of beef carcasses in a freezer.
How can you tell that you should go to another gym? Because “someone” must have set your local gym on fire and now everyone has to go to the one across town with better facilities and free coffee.
How can you tell that your personal trainer doesn’t know what you’re doing? Weightlifting is done with heavier and heavier types of soup cans.
What do you call someone who really enjoys their time spent at the gym? You call them insane, that’s what you call them.
How is going to the gym the same thing as going to dating sites? Everyone goes expecting the same results, and yet very few things actually happen the way you thought they would.
What’s the worst thing about going to the gym? Going to the gym.
Why is going to the treadmill at the gym exactly like knitting a scarf? It’s an awful amount of work to feel accomplished in the end, but you know you’re not really going anywhere with it.
How can you tell that someone is going to the gym? Because they’ll tell you all about it every time they are.
Why do most people cancel their gym memberships after the first couple of months? Because once the free benefits have run out, they realize they’re actually expected to go the gym to get any more points back.
Speaker 1: Did you hear about the woman whose personal trainer died in the middle of the exercise session on Tuesday?
Speaker 2: No, really, what happened?
Speaker 1: She shot him.
Great Funny Gym Puns
What’s the worst thing you can do at the gym? Go to the gym.
What’s the best thing you can eat after a gym session that lasted for several hours? Anything you can find.
Why is it so very important to hydrate before and after exercise? So that the demons inside you don’t get angry.
Why are steroids banned for most competitive athletes? The seventies and eighties in competitive sports.
Where do most people run when they go to the gym to exercise? Away from it.
How do you know that you’ve achieved your goal weight? You can fit back through the bedroom door.
Why did most food chains have to start listing the calories and provide healthy food options alongside what they already sell? Because only live clients can be responsible for returning business.