There’s a lot you could say about the current economy, and how money just isn’t worth the same anymore… Or you could just have a giggle at some of these great money, investment, banking and economics gags. Here’s a list of some of the best economics jokes and puns (you can really appreciate).
Great Economics One Liners
What did the investment banker leave his children? Debt.
What do you call an investment banker who just made $1 million through the stock market? Arrested for fraud and insider trading in a week.
What do bank managers eat for dinner? The souls of their employees.
How do you know someone’s parents made a lot of money in the previous economy? The size of their drug habit.
What’s the worst gift your parents could give you for your birthday? Your inheritance.
Which book do most investors study to know more about the value of money and how people commit fraud? The Holy Bible.
What do stock traders make for dinner? Another couple thousand on a new investment, then usually some instant noodles.
What’s the most expensive investment that you can ever hope to make? Usually your first one.
Why is a stock trading room floor always level? So that the stock traders can drool from both sides of their mouth when they’re working.
What do you get if you double your money on a new investment? Investigated for tax fraud.
What do you call an investor who never lies? An investor who is standing up.
Funny Economic Puns
What is the most important thing to remember before you can have sex? Approval from the board.
What do you call an investor who is sure he’s going to make big money back on his cryptocurrency investment? Probably wrong.
What do you buy a stock trader who has everything? A burglar alarm.
How are stock traders taught to write? Against the margin.
What’s the most valuable stock in your portfolio right now? The one you just sold five minutes ago.
What’s the economy in China like right now? Exactly what China tells you it is.
What’s extremely rich and made from orange vegetables? Trump International.
What’s the most difficult part about being a Bitcoin trader? Living with your parents.
Why did the company CEO take Viagra pills every morning before he went to work? So he could guarantee that his company’s stock would rise.
How do you know that a company’s stocks are going up? Their competitor’s stock doesn’t.
What do you call gold that lies at the end of a rainbow and disappears when the sun comes up? Bitcoin.
What do you call an honest hedge fund trader? Retired from the business.
Economics isn’t funny to everyone: just the people who understand how it works.
What’s the best thing someone can give you for your birthday? Inheritance money.
Hilarious Economy Jokes
Why did the economist chop off his legs? Inflation.
What’s the least funny part of getting a degree in economics? The cost of it.
Why did the accountant leave her husband? She thought he was having an affair, and things just didn’t add up the way they should anymore.
How do you know that someone has a start-up company? They’ll tell you.
What’s the best car you can have in the current economic climate? An Uber.
Why did the investor leave her husband? Because he couldn’t ever truly appreciate her value.
How do you know that a baby is probably going to go into finance? They’re born holding a balance sheet.
Why are a stock trader’s parents always happy with their child? Because their child didn’t choose to become a lawyer.
To tell you the truth, great jokes about the value of things in the current economy aren’t always appreciated by the crowd.
What’s the worst part about the current economy? The fact that we’re in it.
How do you know the exchange rate must be going up? The car dies three blocks away from the house instead of in the driveway.
What do economists love to drive? Their colleagues insane.
My grandfather made his fortune by investing in stocks. Beef stocks, vegetable stocks and chicken stocks.
Funny Economy Puns
What can you do with a degree in how money works? Apparently not make any of it yourself.
The recession has become so bad, my Tesla’s computer moved out to live with his parents.
What do you call a rich economist? Lying.
How does a stock trader make an effective, good trade? With their eyes closed.
What’s the most difficult part about being a live stock trader? Knowing which of the two buttons you have to press next.
How do you know how much someone’s yacht is worth? They’ll tell you.
What do you call it when an investor sleeps with someone on the board of a competitor’s company? Leverage.
How do you know that someone invests in stock? They’ll tell you.
What’s the most difficult part about cryptocurrency mining? Watching the virtual canary die off from a lack of oxygen in the mines.
What can you do with about 500 Bitcoins today? Pretty much anything you’d like to.
What’s the worst thing your investment banker can lose you when you invest with them? Your wife.
What do you get if you become an economist? Paid way better than your parents ever were.
A woman walks into a bank and drops a bucket of vegetables out on the table. She asks the banker, “Excuse me, sir. Can you help me to invest in stocks?”
What’s the biggest part of your job if you’re an investor? The tax bill.