54 Octopus Puns and Jokes That’ll Really Stick to You

Did you know that there are more than 300 different types of octopus in the world? Okay, facts aren’t funny… But these great octopus puns and jokes we’ve got for you wlil really stick to you – and they’re great for laughs where and when you need them!

Great Octopus One Liners

What game is an octopus really good at? Twister.

Why do people eat octopuses? So that they don’t come up to the surface to eat us.

What do you call an octopus that has only five legs? A pentapus.

What’s worse than finding an octopus in your soup at a restaurant? Realizing that you never ordered one.

Why does an octopus get such bad heartburn? Because they’ve got three hearts.

What’s the worst way to eat an octopus? Alive.

Why is octopus a delicacy in some cultures? Because they couldn’t manage to catch and cook any of the local birds for food.

Which animal is the best at rock, paper, scissors? An octopus.

What should you never do with an octopus? Challenge it to an arm wrestling match.

What do you call a depressed octopus? Call it a doctor and do the right thing.

What do you call an octopus that has all the answers? Cthulhu.

What’s the worst sport you can challenge an octopus in? A boxing match.

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Funny Octopus Jokes and Puns

Q: Did you hear about the octopus that could see into the future?
A: Oh, yeah, the one they had at the zoo. What happened to it?

Q: It’s not there anymore. It died unexpectedly.

What’s the best thing to eat with an octopus? Try going to a pizza restaurant, I’ve heard they like those very much.

How do we know that an octopus can remember people? They wouldn’t choose the same politician twice.

What’s the most dangerous type of octopus you could find in the wild? One that’s holding a harpoon and seven knives.

Why did the octopus become famous? Because he was really good at sleight of arm.

What’s the worst sauce to have with octopus? Ketchup, they hate it.

How do you know that your opponent at poker is an octopus? Because they’ve got eight hands.

How do we know that octopuses have venom? Because the last scientists who checked didn’t come back up to the surface.

Funny What’s the Difference Jokes?

What’s the difference between an octopus and a politician? You can believe the octopus when it tells you something.

What’s the difference between an octopus and a goat? The sound they’llke when you throw them down a hill.

What’s the difference between an octopus and a cow? The taste.

What’s the difference between an octopus and a horse? How many legs they can use to kick you at once.

What’s the difference between an octopus and a lawyer? Nothing, both lack spines.

What’s the difference between an octopus and a spider? Not the amount of legs.

What’s the difference between an octopus and fish fingers? Fish fingers doesn’t have the potential to carry a fine.

What’s the difference between a squid and an octopus? How you pronounce it.

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Great Octopus One LIners and Jokes

Why isn’t octopus sushi more popular in the world? Because they fight back.

What has eight legs and floats around in space? A very lost octopus.

What do you call a lost octopus? Dinner.

What’s the best thing to have with an octopus in a restaurant? True friendship.

Why can’t we eat octopus anymore? Because they asked us not to.

Why does the octopus have eight legs? Because humans would look silly if they did.

Why did the octopus make a great bank robber? Because he could hold eight guns.

How long does the average octopus live? About ten minutes before dinner prep begins.

Why was the octopus a great partner to his wife? Because he had three hearts to do it with.

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Dark Octopus Jokes and Puns

What’s the most difficult part about cookinig an octopus? Getting it to stop talking.

What’s the difference between an octopus and a platypus? Whether it’s on most restaurant menus.

Why is octopus one of the most popular toppings for a pizza? Because African Mountain Lions aren’t.

What’s the wrong thing to do with an octopus? Feed it cheese.

What’s the worst way to have an octopus? Trapped with you at the aquarium.

How do you cook an octopus? Offer to run it a really warm bath with some candles and wait.

What’s the worst game you can play with an octopus? Hide the salami.

Why don’t we eat octopus raw? Because they’re still fighting back.

What do you do with a 100 pound octopus? Family dinner.

What’s the most difficult thing you can make with an octopus? A historically accurate kite.

 

More Funny Octopus One Liners

Why does an octopus have eight legs? Because they’d go all the way around in circles with three.

What’s the scariest part about seeing an octopus? The price of it.

How do you kill an octopus? Insult its dress.

How do you make an octopus dinner? First you ask it what it would like to eat.

How do you prepare an octopus properly? Send it to college and teach it some life skills.

How do you know that you’re eating a rare octopus? It’s not cooked through.

What do you call an octopus with nine legs? Differently abled.