Hair is something that most people are born without, and some people start to lose as they move into their twenties or thirties. It’s not something to lose your hair over, but these puns might be! Here are some of the best puns (that’ll get your hair in a knot).
Hair Jokes and Puns
Why did the Knight in the fairy tale immediately start to climb down Rapunzel’s hair and back down to the ground? Because he realized that the hair didn’t come from Rapuzel’s head.
What’s the difference between a good hairdresser and a great hairdresser? A great hairdresser knows when it’s time to stop cutting.
Why is it important for a coroner to first rinse a body and then wash and prepare the hair? So that the ghost will look nice when they come back to haunt the next occupants.
How do you know that your microwave isn’t working properly? All the hot pockets come out cold and your hair keeps falling out.
Did you hear about the famous hair model who fell into the ocean on a cruise? Oh, no, what happened to her? Did she make it? She dyed.
Funny Hair One Liners
Why do some spiders make nests using human hair? Because they saw the movie Arachnaphobia too.
What’s the most effective way to get rid of a head lice infestation? A bonfire.
What’s the worst musical you could choose for a charity benefit concert? Depending on the charity, Hair.
Why did the hippies have long hair? So that the bikers had something to grab in a fight.
Where is the worst place you can find growing hair from? A human corpse.
What do hairdressers hate the most? The Monica.
What’s the worst thing you can do to your hair at home? Anything, see a professional.
Adult Hair Puns and Jokes
What’s the worst way to get tangles out of your hair? By using a shotgun to do it.
What’s the quickest and cheapest way to cut your own hair? Jumping up and down under a low ceiling fan.
What’s the best way to kill a head lice infestation? A shotgun.
What’s your favorite Michael Jackson song? The one where a stage firework caught his hair on fire.
What’s the worst compliment that anyone could give a woman about her hair? That she has a nice beard.
What happens to all the hair they sweep away from the floor of the barber shop? It gets shipped to other countries for voodoo.
What’s the most difficult part about being a hairdresser? Stealing the hair.
Why is the national bird of the USA the American Bald Eagle? Because a long time ago someone taught eagles how to shave.
Hey, how do you know that someone has head lice? Usually you won’t.
What’s the worst kind of hair to find in your food at a restaurant? Hair from the pubic region.
What’s worse than finding one hair in the soup you just ordered? Finding the rest of the scalp.
Great Hair Jokes
What’s worse than finding a hair in your salad? Finding three more hairs in the main course.
Why do some people choose to wear hats? So that they don’t have to brush their hair to go anywhere.
What’s the worst thing you could find under someone’s hat? Your wallet.
Why do most folk and country singers today have long hair? So that there’s something to light.
What’s the worst thing you can put on your hair for a party? Fire.
What’s the most common cure for male pattern baldness? Divorce.
How can you guess what someone has paid for their new hair extensions? Oh, no, you don’t have to guess. They’ll always tell you.
Why do people with curly hair tie up their hair before they go to sleep? So that their hair will stop whispering to them.
Why is it called a ponytail? Because it’s usually attached to the behind of a horse.
What do you save money on the most when you only wear baseball caps? Most forms of birth control.
Why do some people choose to tie up their hair? Because they have no damned idea how to braid it.
What’s the most important part about being a barber? Developing a recipe for pies made from your customers on the side.
What makes tennis exactly like hairdressing? It’s all in the wrist.
How is a barber like a surgeon? If they do it badly, you’re going to die.
How can you tell a good hairdresser from a bad one? The amount of bleeding.
What’s the difference between a barber and a dentist? The chair.
Hairdresser Jokes and Puns
Which type of man is great at doing hair, but usually bad in bed? Edward Scissorhands.
Why are hairdressers’ parents much happier for their children? Because their children didn’t choose to become lawyers.
What do you call a hairdresser who doesn’t know how to cut hair? Employed easily.
How much should you pay your hairdresser? Enough, they work with very sharp tools.
Did you hear about the hairdresser who was fired from the local barber shop? It turns out they didn’t make the cut.
What should you do if your barber died before your next haircut? Ask them to stop haunting your house.
What’s the most difficult part about cutting hair for a living? Trying to make a living.
Did you know that hairdressers don’t go on dates, they have appointments?