If you’re looking for a laugh, then all you have to do is look for some socks. Socks are funny. Trust our advice. Don’t believe it? Take a look at some of the sock puns on this page – sock puns are funny, hilarious, dirty, and you can find sock puns all in pairs right here.
Funny Sock Puns
Why should you stop jerking it into a sock as soon as you’ve read this? Because you’re scaring the other people on the subway.
Why don’t cats and dogs wear socks? Because they can’t seem to walk when you make them.
How do you knit a pair of socks? Call someone who can knit.
Why don’t horses wear socks? Because they don’t wear those kinds of shoes.
What’s worse to find than a single sock? The foot that goes with it.
What’s known as one of the world’s most effective forms of birth control? Wearing socks and sandals.
How do we know that the Mona Lisa wasn’t wearing socks in the famous da Vinci painting? Because da Vinci didn’t paint them.
What’s the right type of sock to wear with wooden clogs? Wooden socks.
What’s worse than having bare feet? Having bare socks.
Why do we wear socks? To hide the pair of eyes on the bottoms of our feet.
What’s the most dangerous thing to do when you find a lost sock? Stop in the middle of traffic to pick it up.
Why are some people known to carry their money in their socks? Because their feet refuse to walk anywhere for free.
Why do some cultures take their shoes off before they enter a house? Because their shoes would upset the color scheme.
What’s the most important thing to remember before you put your socks on? To check if your feet are still there.
What’s worse than finding a pair of socks inside a blueberry pie? Finding only one sock in a blueberry pie.
What type of socks do athletes wear for walking and hiking? Usually wet ones.
What’s the worst thing to find in your stocking at Christmas according to popular tradition? A foot.
Hilarious Sock Puns
What should you do when you find a sock? Do everything you can to see if you can find the foot anywhere.
What do you call those special five-footed socks that hikers and bicyclists wear to have more traction on the road? Absolutely hilarious.
What do you call those special socks that ballerinas have to wear? Probably French and very difficult to remember.
Where do you find most of the world’s lost socks? On most of the world’s lost feet.
Why did Michael Jackson wear white socks to most of his shows? Because the socks knew how to do the Moonwalk better than he did.
What should you do with a pair of socks? Take a picture of them before they go missing.
What’s the most difficult part of a lost sock to find? The head.
Where do lost socks go? Where they want.
How can you tell two socks apart? Ask them who they are.
Why did the sock divorce her husband? Because they grew apart over time.
What should you do if you find a lost sock in the middle of the road? Call it an Uber so it can find its way back home.
What do most teenage boys do with their socks? Go steady for a few months and then switch to another partner.
Why don’t wild animals wear socks? Because they don’t know how to make them.
Which type of sock is recommended for stormy weather? A windsock.
Puns About Socks
How did the sock find her husband so attractive? Because he had the biggest sock.
What’s one of the most dangerous things to Google? Big socks.
Why do socks come in pairs? So that twins can wear them too.
What do you call a sock with eyes that knows how to talk? A very advanced emotional breakdown.
Where do lost socks end up? Sometimes in very successful careers and sometimes in jail, it’s really hard to tell where they might go once they’ve chosen their own way in life.
Why did the sock cross the road? Because someone put a sock on the chicken.
Why don’t most socks have faces on them? Because most socks would be a lot scarier to look at.
Great Sock Puns
Why don’t socks have wings? So that we don’t mistake them for pigeons.
Why don’t socks wear glasses? Because feet don’t need to have eyes.
What are most of the world’s socks made from? Undisclosed sock materials.
Did you hear about the sock who left their partner? It was an abusive relationship and they socked each other often.
What should you do with a pair of orange socks in your closet? Extinguish the socks before the rest of it catches on fire.
Why don’t more people wear socks that are made from wool? Because the world’s sheep refuse to make them.
How should you knit a pair of socks? One at a time.
What do socks do in the dark when nobody is looking? They mate.
Where are the world’s lost socks? On the world’s missing people.
How do you know which feet to put your socks on? Ask.
Why don’t people in hospitals wear socks? Because when you’ve been given enough morphine they might start to speak to you.
What should you do with a single sock?