Canadian Jokes and Puns (That’ll Get Your Bacon Cooking)

Ah, Canada: the land of maple pancakes and mountain police, but also the place where a lot of Netflix shows that look like they’re in American towns really get filmed. If you want to know why Canadian bacon is any different from regular bacon, read through some of these great Canadian jokes and puns.

Canadian Jokes and Puns

Great Canadian Puns

How do we know that Adam and Eve weren’t from Canada? Because nowhere in the Bible does it say that they covered their bits with maple leaves.

My Canadian girlfriend wanted something sweet for her birthday this year, so I went out and bought her a whole 5 gallons of maple syrup. I’ll bet she’s really going to love it.

What do you give a Canadian who has everything? A burglar alarm.

What type of card is the most romantic one to send your girlfriend in Canada? A green card.

How do you know that your parents are Canadian? Their accent.

How do you know that your parents are Canadian, but that you’re adopted? Your accent.

What’s the Canadian dollar worth? About ten to twenty five years if you’ve stolen it out of a

Canadian bank.

What’s the one conversation that you should never start with a Canadian citizen? Where they’re from.

What’s the best part about being from Canada? Getting on the plane to get out.

How do you make a bored, lazy, weird-looking average Canadian angry? Like this.

Why won’t Canadians laugh at any of these jokes? It’s too cold in Canada for anything to be funny.

What’s the best way to leave Canada? Shortly after you’ve arrived.

Funny Canadian One Liner Puns

How do you know that someone’s from Canada? Usually, they’ll tell you.

What’s Canadian bacon made from? Real Canadians.

A Canadian accent sounds pretty close to an American accent, but it’s not exactly the same, eh?

How do you identify a Canadian horse? By their accent.

What’s the most common letter in Canadian English? Eh.

What did the Canadians call their first space program? Apollo-G.

What’s Canadian bacon made of? American bacon with an accent.

Why does so much of Canada speak French? Because Germany lost.

What is the capital of Canada? The letter C.

What’s the most common blood type in Canada? Maple syrup.

What do you get if both your parents are Canadian? Bullied at school because of it.

What do you call the Canadian girl you went out with last night? Back.

What’s the best part about visiting Ontario? The flight out.

Canadian Jokes and Puns

Hilarious Canadian Puns

What’s the most famous Canadian export? Mike Myers.

What do you have if both of your parents are Canadian? A higher risk of developing diabetes.

How do you identify Canadian beef? The flag on the back of it.

Who is the current Canadian president? Joe Biden.

What’s the worst thing a Canadian man can give anyone? A wedding ring.

What’s the first thing you would do if you woke up in Canada tomorrow morning? Check if I still had any kidneys.

What did the angry Canadian say to the other Canadian? Absolutely nothing, both of them were too polite for that.

How do Canadians eat? Like they do everything else: politely.

What’s the most famous Canadian beer in the world? There isn’t one.

What’s the worst way to visit Canada? In a shipping container full of televisions.

How do Canadians like their steak? Made from a moose.

What’s the best place to tell a Canadian joke? All the way from America.

What’s the longest road in the whole of Canada? The road to recovery, you are not alone.

Funny and Friendly Canadian Puns

What do you get when you cross maple syrup with a bagel? Sticky.

What are the best food franchises found in Canada? The American ones.

What’s the weather like in Canada? Hot one day and freezing the rest of the year.

How do you make a Canadian angry? You don’t. You just can’t.

What’s the difference between Canadian French and any other kind of French? How they eat their pancakes.

What did the Canadian girl get for her seventh birthday? Surgery.

How do you know that someone was actually born in Canada? The maple leaf tattoo on their ass.

What do the colors of the Canadian flag represent? All the snow and syrup you’re going to find over there.

How many Canadians do you need to change a lightbulb? None, they didn’t want to bother anyone when they looked like they were busy.

What’s the most famous Canadian movie remake of an American one? The Eh team.

How do you know that your parents are actually from Canada? The adoption certificate.

Great Puns for Canadians

Why do people in Canada speak French? Because most people in Canada don’t speak Latin.

What’s the first thing that an American should find when they’re in Canada? The way back.

What did the one Canadian ask the other? Hey, got a Northern Light?

What’s the most popular type of Canadian beef? Moose.

What’s the most popular religion in Canada? Maple syrup.

What’s the best thing to eat with maple syrup in Canada? Everything.

What’s the most popular pizza in Canada? Frozen.

What’s the most used condiment in Canada? Melted cheese.

Where are the best places to go during the winter in Canada? Nowhere, you’ll probably be snowed in.

What do you call a rude Canadian? An expat.

What’s wrong with being Canadian? The dollar value.

What’s the one thing you can’t be in Canada? Warm.

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