Horses are a great topic for puns. In fact, we’d say that you can get a great kick out of them around anyone with a sense of humor! On this page you’ll find some of the best horse puns that are nothing to neigh at. Have fun!
One Liner Horse Puns
Why do we use horses for dressage? Because we wouldn’t be able to use corgis.
What do you call a horse that’s twice the size of a regular horse? Twice as dangerous as a regular horse.
How do you tame a wild horse? With care.
What should you do if a strange horse walks right into your house? Look for its accompanying cowboy.
What should you feed a hungry horse who just walked into your house? Whatever it wants, it’s going to be their house now.
What’s the difference between a kangaroo and a horse? Boxing and kickboxing.
Where is the worst place you could find a horse? Last place in the race.
Hilarious Horse Puns
What should you call a lost horse you’ve just found in the middle of the road? Their owner.
Why do some policing units use horses to combat crime? Because they tried cats first and they wouldn’t listen.
How do you learn how to ride a horse? By listening to the horse.
How much does a proper saddle cost? Almost more than getting a horse.
What do you call an angry, aggressive horse that just won’t listen? An ex for a reason.
What’s best known as the biggest part of a horse’s body? The ego.
What’s the most important thing to remember when you’ve just bought a horse? The horse.
What do you call the horse that you just lost a few hundred dollars on? Dinner.
Why did the famous scene in the Godfather movie feature the head of a horse? Because it was still legal to do it in movies back then, that’s why.
Why do horses have four legs? Because they would be terrifying with eight.
How do you know that a burger claims to be beef, but has actualy been made from horse meat?Check if you see any of the hooves.
Why is it considered dangerous to stand behind a horse? Because horses can let you down and don’t know how to work with money when you allow them to.
Which famous royal used the quote “My Kingdom for a horse!”? King Charles.
How do we know that horses enjoy being ridden for dressage and horseracing events? We don’t.
Great Horse Puns
What’s the difference between a horse in a stable and a celebrity at a red carpet event? Their choice of shoes.
Why was the horse angry at his parents? Because they wouldn’t buy him the designer horseshoes for his birthday this year.
What do you call the losing horse at a national horseracing event? A liability.
What should you do if you find a lost horse? Call it an Uber so that it can find its way back.
Did you hear about the jockey who left his husband? He said that he was going out into the world to look for someone that was more stable.
What type of underwear should you choose if you’re going to go horseriding all day? Probably Jockey.
Why do we make artists’ paintbrushes from horse hairs? Because horses can paint fairly well to be honest.
Funny Horse Puns
How do artists start by painting a horse? By knowing what a horse really looks like.
Why do horses bite? Because horses don’t have the ability to sting.
What did the winning jockey call his horse? Faster.
How do you make a horse go faster? You have to ask it.
What type of gas do horses use? Hay.
Have you heard about the new Tesla horse? It runs pretty fast, but you’ve got to plug its tail into the Tesla charging station for it to go anywhere.
Why do horses maintain their good health for more than ten to twenty years? Because Apple doesn’t make horses.
Why don’t horses have wings? Because then they would be called Pegasus.
How do you make a horse angry? By insulting its shoes.
Why can’t horses vomit? Because they don’t need to.
Great Horse Puns
What’s the difference between a horse and a pony? The taste.
How do you make a horse upset? Why would you do that? They can kick.
How can you tell that a horse is being friendly? It hasn’t kicked you yet.
What’s the first thing you should do if you’ve just fallen off a horse? Ask why.
What’s the difference between a good chili and a horse? The type of kick you’ll get.
What’s the difference between a horse and a cow? Their proportionate value and speed if you were to bet on them in a race.
Why do some cultures eat horse meat? Because they couldn’t find any cow meat.
How do we know that some types of dog food is made from horse meat? Because every now and then someone finds an eye.
Why was the famous movie called Silence of the Lambs? Because it wasn’t called the Neighing of the Horses.
Why do we make paintbrushes from horse hairs? So that the job can get done faster.
What do you call a horse with pink stripes? Dave.
Where do you find a horse with two legs? Probably not far from where you last left it.
What do you call a dangerous horse? Unstable.