Whether your favorite is your grandmother’s pumpkin pie or a simple pop tart, mankind has developed something of an obsession with the different things you can stick in a dough filling and then fry or bake. We have some of the best pie puns on this page, and we promise that none of them are half-baked – or too crusty!
Here are some of the best cute pie puns that will make you pie yourself, including the best pie captions for Instagram, pie puns for thanksgiving and simple one-liner pie puns.
Pie puns one liners
- What’s the worst movie about pie to show your parents? The American one.
- What’s the favorite pie for computer programmers? Apple.
- I accidentally dropped my iPhone in the batter when we were baking. It went into the oven. I guess now we’re just going to have an Apple pie.
- Why did the blueberry pie have to go to the doctor? Because he was shot in the face during an armed robbery.
- Why was the pie depressed? Because he was feeling a little blue.
Apple pie puns for kids
- Why did everyone fall in love with the pumpkin pie? Because it was absolutely gord-geous.
- Why was the pie better at math? Because 3.141.
- Where did the pie parents enroll their children when they moved into the neighborhood? Pie-mary school.
- How did the baker declare his love for his wife? “I have fillings for you.”
- What do you call a blueberry pie that’s covered in blueberries? A cannibal.
- Why are pies round? Because pi.
Pie puns for friends
- What do ghosts prefer to make for thanksgiving dessert? Boo-berry pie.
- Why did the baker leave her husband? Because she found a sweeter pie.
- What do Egyptian mummies like to have for dessert? Pies just like mummy used to make.
- Why was the old lady next door’s pie to die for? Because it has strychnine in it.
- Which book about pie doesn’t mention it once? Life of Pi.
- Why was there a line at the pie restaurant? Because the bathroom was occu-pied.
- What’s a dentist’s least favorite part of the pie? The filling.
Birthday pie puns
- What’s the wrong thing to ask a widow at her husband’s funeral? What she thinks of the pie.
- What’s going to be the next Disney movie starring Johnny Depp? Pie-rates of the Caribbean.
- How do chefs love to exercise? Pie-lates.
- How do you make a vegan pie? With about five or six chopped up vegans.
- How do you know someone doesn’t like blueberry pie? Because they won’t stop telling you.
- What goes red, then blue, then white? A nut allergy after a pecan nut pie.
- Why did the baker’s wife get everything in the divorce? Because he had another piece on the side.
- Why do we celebrate Halloween? So we can have pumpkin pie.
Pie puns for thanksgiving
- Why do we celebrate Thanksgiving? So we can have more pie.
- What happens if you win first prize at a baking competition? The winner bakes it all.
- Why did I choose the third pumpkin pie to the left and not any of the others? That’s just the one that caught my pie.
- What do bakers throw at their weddings instead of flowers? Pies.
- Where’s the worst place in the UK to buy pies? At Sweeney Todd’s.
- What’s George Lucas’ favorite type of pie? I don’t know, you’ll have to ask him.
- What’s the worst type of pie to serve at a cremation serve? A burned one.
- Why did the baker get married twice? Because he always loved to try both flavors.
- What’s the hardest part of the pie to consume? The baking tin.
Funny Pie pun names
- What’s one ingredient that ruins absolutely any pie you make? Enough arsenic.
- Why don’t most pies go to bars? Because most bars don’t serve dessert.
- Why don’t zombies like to eat pie? Because they like to eat brains.
- Why does Bono love apple pie so much? Because he believes in world piece for all.
- Why did the baker leave his wife of twenty years? Because of the lack of crust in their relationship.
- Why don’t sailors take pies out to sea? They’re afraid of pie-rates on the open seas.
Pie captions for Instagram
- How do you catch a baker’s daughter? Dangle a pie out of a window.
- How do you make a pie that most old ladies will love? Make it from the remains of her first husband.
- Why did the baker refuse to go into business with the mob? When it came to pie-making, he didn’t feel like he could crust any of them at all.
- Why couldn’t my grandfather ever get his baking business off the ground? Because it was just a pie in the sky.
- Why did the pie-maker get fired during his first week on the job? Because he was getting baked at work too often.
- How do you know an apple pie has gone past its expiry date? It’s an apple cider pie.