Dentists and teeth are no laughing matter… Or are they? We’d say that teeth are worth having a laugh about. Here are some of the best tooth puns, guaranteed to have bite.
Funny Tooth Puns
Where do dentists learn how to know what they’re doing when they pull teeth? Clive Barker’s Hellraiser.
Where did Stephen King learn how to write such evocative, scary horror stories? He probably went to the dentist one too many times as a young kid.
What’s the most difficult part about going to the dentist? Realizing that you’ll have to go back again!
Why are depression rates higher in dental surgeons than for other doctors in the medical profession? Because a dentist’s patients are usually more scared of them when they’re in the office.
What should you do if you can’t find your dentist’s office? Just look for the big building with the tooth on it.
Why do dentists ask you to open your mouth when they’re working? Otherwise they would have to drill right through the side of your cheek.
What’s the most difficult thing about learning how to be a dentist? Learning how to deal with the screaming of your patients.
Why do dentists usually give smaller children candy when they leave the office? So that they’ll have to come back for another appointment.
Why is Oral B recommended by most world dentists? Because Oral B told them to.
Hilarious Tooth Puns
What do you call a dentist who keeps playing with the height controls of their chair instead of seeing the patient like they’re supposed to? High.
How do you know that a dentist must be very talented? You can see that their other patients are getting to leave the appointments alive.
Why do dentists have pictures and models of teeth in their offices? So that they can remember what they look like while they’re working on them.
What’s the difference between a dentist and a cosmetic dentist? The size of their yacht.
How do you know that your health insurance will be able to pay for your dental work? You really don’t.
What should you never do after a dental appointment according to most medical professionals? Never look at the bill.
Why do doctors pull teeth? So that they have something to talk about at the book club.
Why are parents usually very happy once one of their kids have gone off to medical school? Because their child didn’t choose to go to law school.
How can you tell a dentist that they’re hurting you and should adjust what they’re doing? They’ve got their hands in your mouth and you can’t.
What’s the most difficult thing to tell your dentist? Usually anything.
What do you call a dentist’s assistant? Usually as crazy as the dentist.
What did doctors use to knock out their patients before the use of gas? A hammer and some vodka.
How do dentists guarantee they can put a stop to any signs of infection in a patient? The power of prayer.
What should you tell a very angry dentist? Nothing because they still have the ability to hurt you.
Fun Tooth Puns
How can you tell that your dentist isn’t really a registered medical professional? You have to meet them at the back of the fast food restaurant to get a tooth extracted.
What makes a root canal worse for the patient according to medical research by leading universities? Dentists that are singing while they’re doing it.
Why do most dentists prefer to treat a tooth rather than to remove it? Because the teeth they remove haunt most of their dreams.
Why don’t dentist’s sleep well? Because the tooth fairy keeps them up all night asking them for their money.
What happens if you find a dentist in your bedroom? Pretty much an immediate divorce.
Why are some dentists dangerous? Because some dentists are also crazy.
How can you tell that you’re about to see a terrible dentist? As you sit down for the appointment he gets the garden pliers ready for the job.
Why do dentists recommend that patients get a dental cleaning service from their assistants first? Because dentists have forgotten how to do it.
What should you do right after you have just gone to the dentist? Go home.
More Tooth Puns
Why do dentists sell toothbrushes in their offices in some cases? Because they’re not allowed to make extra money from selling candy.
Which candy will you usually never find in a doctor’s office? The healthy kind.
Why did vampires start to become more popular in the Victorian era? Because dentists did.
How did ancient vampire hunters used to deal with vegan vampires? By using a steak.
How do you know that your uncle doesn’t come from a long line of vampires? Usually you don’t.
How do you know that your dentist isn’t just reading something from Wikipedia? You don’t.
What do most dentists carry in their offices? Teeth.
Why are dentists usually friendly and smiling when you go to their offices? Because they already know what’s going to happen.
Why do most dentists have the sound of music playing in their offices? Because something has to drown out the noise of all the screaming.
What’s the most difficult way to pay off a student loan? Go to medical school.
How do you know that you’re going to a bad dentist? It hurts a lot more.