Hearts are something that all of us have in us, except for maybe the Scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz. If you have some heart, have a look at some of the best creative heart puns that will make your heart throb!
Heart Puns One-Liners
- Why did the musician keep his son’s heart in a jar? Because it was his favorite organ.
- What’s the best way to a man’s heart? According to this great book on the human anatomy I’ve been reading, you have to go straight through his chest.
- Why did the surgeon cancel the man’s heart transplant fifteen minutes before they were booked to start? There was a sudden change of heart.
Cute Heart Puns for Kids
- Why did the Tin Man from the Wizard of Oz cancel his date with Dorothy? Because he didn’t have a heart.
- Why didn’t the Scarecrow ever ask Dorothy out after the Tin Man? Because he didn’t have a brain.
- What do you call a surgeon who’s a real heartbreaker? A bad cardiologist.
- Why couldn’t the skeleton play guitar with his band? Because his heart just wasn’t in it anymore.
- Why did the drummer have a heart attack on stage? Because he was out of time.
Creative Heart Beat Puns
- What do you call that feeling when your heart drops to your stomach? A medical emergency.
- What do you get when you add 20 shrimp of $2 each to your buffet? Cholesterol and an early heart attack.
- I bought an expensive box of chocolates for my girlfriend this Valentine’s day, but then ate half of the heart chocolates out of the box. I’ll have to buy something else beforehand or she’s going to say it was a half-hearted gift.
- You know you want to hear more great heart puns. Keep reading, before you have a change of heart!
- Stephen King has often said that he’s a good writer because he has the heart of a small boy… That he keeps in a jar on his desk.
- I had heart surgery last week and everything went according to plan. I’m pretty grateful. Aorta thank the doctor for a job well done.
- My doctor says that I should cut down on the fried foods or I’m going to have a heart attack. I could heartly believe what I was hearing!
- What do you get someone who just had a heart attack? Hopefully some medical attention.
- Why did everyone run out of the bar when the monster walked in? Because he was wearing his heart on his sleeve.
- You can say what you want about cannibalism, but thinking of cannibals getting together as a family for dinner is a real heart-warming feeling.
- Why do hunters often eat the heart of the animal first right after they have completed the hunt? Because it would be disgusting to start with the butthole.
- What was the most painful thing about my grandmother having a heart attack? Not being in her will.
Funny Heart Rate Puns
- What do parents give their children when they get married again at seventy-four? A heart attack.
- What’s the best way to comfort someone whose grandmother has just had a serious heart attack? Anything but a heart shaped box of chocolates!
- What do you get if you cross a cheese sandwich with a steak? Heartburn.
- What’s the best place to have a heart attack? In a doctor’s office.
- What’s the difference between heartburn and a heart attack? Sometimes death.
- How do you know you’re doing chest compressions the wrong way? They say, “Please stop, what’s wrong with you?”
Love Heart Puns
- What do you call a hillbilly heart surgeon? Christiaan Barn-heart.
- What should you do if someone mails you a human heart? Stew and some vegetables.
- How do you know there’s something wrong with your heart? It doesn’t taste right coming out of the oven.
- How do you know you’re having a heart attack? It gets much harder to drive a bus.
- What’s the first thing you should do if you’re having a heart attack? Take a selfie, you might not get another shot!
- Why do cannibals prefer to keep their hearts in the freezer? Because it would go off otherwise!
- What did the one zombie say to the other zombie? You’ll have my heart forever.
Heart Anatomy Puns
- What was the heart surgeon’s least favorite song? Total Eclipse of the Heart.
- I had some serious heartburn when I tried birthday cake for the first time. Turns out you’re supposed to take the candles off before you try it.
- Why did nobody want to ask the cardiologist out to a date? Because he kept breaking hearts.
- Why was the cardiologist fired? Because he dropped the beat.
Heart Puns for Valentine’s Day
- What’s the worst time to have a heart attack? During another heart attack.
- What’s the best way to make a man’s heart beat faster? Ephedrine.
- Why did everyone love the artichoke so much? Because it had a heart.
- What do you call a heart up a tree? In the wrong place.